Home > September 2018 > Good Thing This Family Knows Colors!

Good Thing This Family Knows Colors!

September 4th, 2018

I am your Green/Orange lady from the other day. You asked me to email you the Colors of my husband (and kids). He’s a 29 Gold. As a strong Gold/Green, he gives 200% towards work life and most times when he reaches home he is turned off for a few minutes if not clocked out entirely. My mother initially thought he was in the military as he is so direct and assertive; his composure certainly does not disdain that view… As to our three kids in our blended family:

Our 5 year old is very Blue and loves people, until he doesn’t. Our only issue is in the morning when he is “getting ready” for the day. We have to tell him at least six times to stop doodling and focus on getting ready. Of course, he loves being our helper, but it can wait 30 seconds while he plays with his Lego. In daycare and home, he is always the helper, the playful group go getter, the VERY EXCITED loving boy. When he has hit his limit of people after hurt feelings or over stimulation, he will give himself a timeout, go to his room, close the door and hide away until he is ready.

…You have a Blue son? Someone REALLY has to understand his special needs and emotions. That’s super hard for you (Green) and hubby (Gold). I hope there’s another family member around that’s very high Blue! Blue, for a lifetime, have little idea what time it is. Creativity, others need me, want to help, dreaming, dreaming…but on time? Not so much… The black or white, at that age, is emulating his Gold dad. Kids will take on behaviors of parents that have little to do with their Colors! Yes, the hurt feeling with a boy = alone time. With girls it’s more of talking it through.

Our oldest son is 8 year old, and Green/Blue. He was really 45 years old when he turned 5 and wasn’t afraid to prove it either. Yes or no does not work for him. If he asks you a question you best be careful how you answer because, dependent on the answer given, he will almost always have five more at the ready. My son is a people pleaser, always involving others, always making others happy, even if it is at the expense of others (so long as the majority is smiling at him). Sarcasm and humor is his forefront and it is so hard as a Green parent not to laugh when you really should be biting your tongue.

…Yup. You have a little mini Perry Mason living in the house. It’s the reason many non Green parents are a little intimidated by a Green kid. How great that he’s also learning his soft people skills. Soft with people, hard on tasks,  on learning, questioning, etc. is a great combination! If he can maintain that ratio/balance for a lifetime. Green/Blue (once he’s over 15 or so it’d be interesting if that’s how he sees himself as a close score of Green/Blue is about 1 in 700 people…

Our third son is nine and Blue/Gold, but harder to figure out. He’s somewhat of a “deer in the head lights” personality. We are just now getting custody of him from his birth mother. He is a good listener but will forget what you said almost immediately after he gives you a simple empathic remark. He definitely doesn’t like to make waves and avoids conflict, but does do his chores when asked and likes to do the without interruptions. Now that he’s re-learning things like responsibility and independence, we have see great changes with him.

…Ouch. Life’s been rather hard for this little guy. IF he is Blue (feelings) more than Green (logic) this is hitting him really really hard! EVERY Blue thinks it’s something they did to make Mom….etc… If they were just….she wouldn’t have left me. That is a scar he will have for a lifetime, and all you can do is minimize it – but you can’t take that scar tissue away… He’ll be way more sensitive in wanting to be loved (and for a lifetime have a subconscious tape that he’s unlovable and will have real trust issues in adult relationships) and wanting to fit in, and be very accommodating. He’ll also become more sensitive to any conflict, so make sure he always keeps learning that disagreement does not equal rejection!

So thank you again George, not only for your time in this email, but for your knowledge and beautiful words of wisdom. I wish you all the best and in changing lives!  A.

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