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When Or If Opposites Attract

One of the most common questions at the Colors seminar is what Color combination is best in a relationship. The answer is easy: Love is colorblind. Yup – there isn’t one or another that’s better or worse. Two-thirds of relationships are a task-first (Gold and Green) with a people first (Blue and Orange) partner. The exact combination just makes it pretty easy to predict where the problems and friction will be.

Relationships depend more on non-personality factors, such as values, culture, religion, being on the same page with finances and money, and maturity. After that, understanding each other’s Colors is a huge benefit as well – but it starts with the foundation of other values. It’s just that Colors is something we see quicker when starting to date. The other values take in-depth and honest communication which comes much later in the life of a dating couple.

Opposites attract commonly come in two ways:

-We tend to be attracted to someone who is similar to our Colors with some characteristics that we’re not that good at. That could be your first two Colors flipped around in your partner. It might be a Blue/Gold dating a Gold/Blue, which is really common since those two Colors are 65% of the population in Canada and around 55% in the U.S. They’re very similar, but start from a different perspective: One being the eternal optimism with great people skills, one starts with being able to say no, do the planning, and to be the organizer.

-Or we are attracted to someone of our lowest two Colors. For Greens it might be the caring, compassionate, emotional Blue. For Oranges always on the go and multi-tasking, it might be the Gold air traffic controller that keeps their chaotic life a little more balanced.

If it’s the latter, just be aware that one of you will likely need to be the one doing a lot of work to keep the relationships growing and going. When both find a balance in their Colors, the relationship will not only survive, but it’ll thrive. But that takes effective communication and the tools of Colors. The huge bonus is that any kids in the family will learn the entire spectrum of Colors and behaviors in the home. They’ll be much more likely to grow up accepting people as they are.

Your homework: Your partner needs to learn Colors by doing the assessment and reading the chapter of both your Colors in the Colorful Personalities book. Then, together, read the Colors of Relationships booklet for an in-depth work section on “what each Color needs help with.” It’s either that, or start the lifelong hope that your partner will become less…or more…and not so…. Good luck waiting for that to happen! It won’t – and your next relationship will likely be with someone of the same Colors as you’re with now!

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