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A Great E-Mail Question

March 1st, 2009

Hi George: Can you share some information on how we can adjust our lives using our insights of Colors? I am a Gold/Blue, a workaholic, and would like to learn strategies to learn how to place importance on ME and to set some healthy boundaries. Life is slipping by and I want to smell the roses, but find it hard to do. M.

Hey M: As you described so correctly, our second Color matters a lot! You’re another Gold workaholic and can’t say no. Gee – the former is totally Gold and the latter is a real challenge (doubly so) for most Gold/Blues. Blues want to be loved and included so they don’t say no, and Golds do things out of a sense of duty and responsibility.

But when the Gold “I have to do it,” or your Blue “they need me,” burns the candle at both ends it does NOT make you a brighter light. It just burns you out faster. For Golds, the more stress they have and the less “perfect” life is going, the more they work, thinking that doing “more” will make it better. Besides, it’s a great place to “hide” from life and facing other issues. It’s a safe place to be, they’re good at it, it’s a world Golds can control and it makes them invaluable…just before burning out, as they’re stressed to the max, snaps, gets sick, hardens the tone of their voice, become less flexible and more rigid.

So what’s really going on that you’re hiding from, avoiding or not wanting to change? What would happen if you said no and set some gentle boundaries? What do you feel you’d lose vs. what would you gain? Until the gain is bigger than the perceived loss, you won’t move. The pain has to be big enough to choose to act.

Isn’t part of the workaholic issue that the moment you get out the door you still have a to-do list managing your life? Can you have an entire day of nothing planned without feeling you’re being irresponsible? Can you take your great organizational skills and pass the buck without feeling you’re slouching off without feeling nobody else could do it, from filing at work to a cleaning person at home? And to start, can you change your stinkin thinkin from ways it can’t be done, changed or improved to actually thinking of how it IS possible and you deserve better? Are you worth it?

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