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Posts Tagged ‘Orange kids’

Are We Protecting Or Hurting?

March 4th, 2017

Former high Orange NFL player James Harrison recently refused to let his two sons accept participation trophies from their school. “While I am very proud of my boys…these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned, and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes our best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy.” But:

A number of school districts have decided to no longer fail kids, but rather call a non-passing grade “deferred success.”

In parts of Britain, kindergarten teachers are instructed to avoid the word “no.”

As well, one major soccer association (for kids under age 11) no longer keeps scores. Their logic is that the game is about skills, fair play, and sportsmanship, and not making winners or losers.

Swerve magazine asked: By overprotecting our children, are we putting them at even greater risk? Is it really possible to build empathy and help when everyone is equal? Is not keeping score, or failing a test, a way to motivate and improve, or point to a reason to work harder and do better? Can the results of these policies not potentially create a false sense of reality that’ll be shattered really quickly in the real world of adults?

Oranges thrive and grow through competition, games, and winning. They value anything where they have a chance to be the star, to perform, and to become the (recognized) best. They have no problem losing, because it makes them work harder and become more skilled to do better (win) next time.

For Gold kids, it’s valuable when they can quantify things. Just participating without concrete measurements and yardsticks doesn’t allow for that, and makes it very difficult to feel successful. Greens deal in facts and logic – as kids just as much as adults. They played poorly or didn’t study hard enough? That’s fine – now they have measurable and factual feedback to do better next time, and to learn from it.

For kids of all ages and Colors, do remember that the benefit of competition is less about the win and loss, and way more about improvement, learning, and challenges.

 

Orange Alert: Two ADHD Stories

July 5th, 2016

ADHD: It’s the Food, Stupid! That was the headline of a story on the connection of food and the diagnosis of ADHD in commondreams.org. In North America, 10% of kids ages four to 17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, and more than three million are on medication for their symptoms.

The study by Dr. Lidy Pelsser of the ADHD Research Centre in the Netherlands is the first to conclusively say that diet is implicated in ADHD. “Food is the main cause. After the (new) diet, they were just normal children with normal behavior.” The study found that in 64% of children with ADHD, the symptoms were caused by food.

Says Pessler: “With all children, we should star with diet research.” If so, it sure beats the medication side effects. These include sleeplessness (then sleeping pills prescriptions), headaches, stomachaches, decreased appetite, feeling helpless, hopeless and new or worsening depression. Three years on Ritalin and children were also about an inch shorter and 4.4 pounds (10 kg) lighter than their peers. (Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2007).

There have actually been multiple credible scientific studies linking diet and ADHD diagnosis. In Pessler’s study, the children were placed on a restricted diet consisting of water, rice, turkey, lamb, lettuce, carrots, pears, and other hypoallergenic foods. That meant these children were getting no, or very few, food additives.

It’s hard to do, and shouldn’t be done without medical professionals and their advice. But, and it’s just my opinion, it seems a lot safer than altering a child’s brain chemistry with pharmaceutical drugs. No, it won’t be easy. Easy is a pill a day…

And let’s be honest: By the time these (mostly) Orange children are adults, most everyone else wishes they had some of the traits that make Orange adults who they are!
Why French Kids Don’t Have ADHD: This second story on ADHD comes from a book by Marilyn Wedge, entitled: A Disease Called Childhood.

In North America, almost 10 percent of school-aged children have been diagnosed with ADHD. In France, it’s half of one percent! Does that make any sense? In North America, it’s considered a biological disorder with the preferred treatment also being biological – psycho stimulant medication like Ritalin and Adderall.

In France, ADHD is viewed as a medical condition, not a biological disorder. That has French doctors looking for the underlying issue causing the child distress: Not in the brain, but in the child’s social context. That includes foods, specifically artificial colors, preservatives, and/or allergens. The focus of the French medical manuals is on identifying and addressing the underlying causes. The U.S. DSM specifically does not consider these. Bad for kids – great for the drug industry.

In general, French (and other European) parents are much stricter in comparison to the average North American parent. Children don’t snack when they want – if ever. Meals are at four specific times, and kids learn incredibly early (and all through childhood) to wait for the meal – no junk food when they feel like it. (see Pamela Druckerman’s book: Bringing up Bebe). The broader European parenting philosophy is of consistently enforced limits. They use the word “no” a lot and children learn very early in life how to self-control themselves.

Is that part of the solution? Is it at home or in the medical approach? Is it about the food additives? Is it partly the school system reducing the time children spend in physical activities? Only parents can make the decision for their child. But hopefully, medication isn’t the starting point…

PS: The issue of Oranges being labeled with ADHD is in the Colorful Personalities book (in the Orange chapter and the Orange kids chapter)

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Colors quotes answer key: Blue – Gold – Green – Orange

 

Colors As Kids…Who Were You?

May 2nd, 2016

Orange: The troublemaker child who was constantly pushing the teacher’s boundaries to keep testing which rules could be bent…or the daredevil child who got themselves banned from most playground equipment by second grade…or the class clown who considered no stunt too dangerous if it earned them the temporary spotlight

Orange/Blue: The wildly imaginative child who had 15,000 answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up

Orange/Green: The child who ruled the playground through a mixture of intimidation and sophisticated political tactics

Orange/Gold: The schoolyard bully who genuinely thought he was doing everyone a favor by telling them what was wrong with them

Green: The reserved and quit child who occasionally blurted something out that was so intelligent that their parents and teachers were genuinely intimidated…or the spacey child who accidentally walked into things because they were busy wondering if Martians were capable of understanding human languages

Gold: The obedient child who took their chores and allowance more serious than many adults in their full-time jobs

Gold/Green: The child whose LEGO skills and attention to detail were only matched by full-time architects

Blue: Often the ‘old soul’ child who could act more like an adult than their parents…or the people-pleasing child who consistently put on a happy face at school, then came home and cried her eyes out over something someone said seven hours earlier

Blue/Gold: The sweet mannered child whom other parents secretly wished were their child… or the easy going child who avoided conflict and would go along with what made everyone else happy

Blue/Orange: The child who everyone described as their best friend

 

More Hurdles for Orange Kids?

May 8th, 2014

All parents with a pre-teen have experienced their outbursts and tantrums at one time or another. Until now, temper tantrums were a normal part of childhood. But now it can also be labeled as disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.

The American Psychiatric Association has released their newly updated reference manual called DSM-5. It has already sparked international outrage and waves of petitions, including one from 14,000 mental health professionals, and over 50 organizations. Their main concern is the loosening and enlargement of behavior categories to the point where pretty much every person on earth can well be diagnosed with one mental-disorder or another.

The previous DSM-4 version first identified ADHD and caused an explosion in the prescription of Ritalin and influenced the diagnosis of millions of people (mostly kids, on which the medication still hasn’t been tested – mostly Orange kids). After its release, the diagnosis in children increased forty-fold! Do you think the disclosure that over 70% of the authors of the DSM-5 manual have ties to the drug industry is a coincidence? Hmm…

In the book: The Drugging of Our Children, psychologist Brent Robbins cites one study that found 72% of pediatricians prescribe psychotropic medication to children, but only eight percent felt adequately trained to do so!

There’s a reason the Colorful Personality book has an extensive section on ADHD in both the Orange chapter and the chapter on children. Changing the behavior of children is not just a pill away. In the school system, why is it that the few Oranges who do become teachers have almost no trouble managing Orange kids? They understand what it takes to engage them, give them the attention, and focus their energy in short bursts.

No wonder a few times a year a parent contacts me to get a copy of the Colors book right away. When I ask why, the response is always that their son or daughter’s teacher needs to learn to understand an Orange child. Oh how badly the world needs more Orange teachers…

Orange Learning Styles

October 8th, 2013

From the corporate world to the school system, high Oranges are really misunderstood when it comes to the way they learn and study.

The largest Color group is Golds, who need to study in a quiet space and alone (as do Greens). But that’s exactly the opposite of how high Orange tend to learn – and it can lead to real challenges, especially with high Gold parents “making” an Orange kid have that alone-time, and long blocks of study time.

Oranges are social by nature and learn best in short bursts, together with their friends. They also have no problem studying with a television or stereo playing in the background. Gold parents know their Orange child is bright and highly intelligent, yet their marks don’t always reflect this. But often, it’s a Color clash in the mindset of the “proper” way parents believe their child “ought” to study. After all, that’s how I did it and that should work for my kid, too. But instead of creating success, more often than not, it causes conflict, rebellion, stress, dropping marks and rule-breaking behavior. That also applies to coaching at work.

The best way for high Orange to get their marks up, or to learn new material for work, is to study with their friends. The more time they’re forced to study alone, the worse it’ll likely get. High Oranges are very verbal and social, as well as performers who learn best with the freedom to move around, talk something through with their friends, and listen to their stereo or Ipod. Having friends over makes studying a competition or social interaction and allows them to use their great verbal skills.

And if you want to take it one step further – make it a game and a contest. Even the most successful high Orange sales staff don’t get seriously motivated about a contest until they can see the finish line. In every sales seminar I ask this hugely successful and highly intelligent group when they get seriously motivated about a one-year contest. Without exception, they’ll tell you it’s October or November, and not on January 1st!

So if you’re choosing to give any Orange a reward for success, make sure it’s something for THIS week – not the end of the year. That day is way too far off to generate any type of interest or motivation.

Oh, and one more thing: Ask a couple of high Orange at work, or in your circle of friends, how long a work meeting should last. They’ll always tell you it should be 15 or 20 minutes, tops. Yet think about how long classes are in high school, or even how long you’re asking a high Orange kid to sit still and do his or her homework.

Gold Mom and VERY Orange Son

May 2nd, 2011

My 11-year old son is Orange, pretty deep Orange. T. is never too worried about getting hung up on the details – like combing one’s hair for instance. He often showers in the evening, goes to bed with damp hair (because his attitude is “who cares, it’ll dry while I sleep”) and voila, rolls out of bed with a serious case of bed head. Since I know he’s orange, I don’t nag him to comb his “Alfalfa” sprouts. At some point, he’ll care enough to comb it.

One afternoon he mentioned that several people at school asked if he got a haircut. He had not, but he HAD showered in the morning that day, so his hair was tidy. He tells me one girl finally shouted out, “I know why you look like you got a hair cut! It’s not sticking up all over the place today!”

After he relayed this story to me, I suggested that, with a little quick and easy damp combing in the morning, he could ditch the sticky up look. His reply? “Oh NO WAY! Are you kidding me? Everybody LOVES my hair that way – it’s the highlight of their day to see my hair all crazy like that!”

And if I needed any further confirmation of his Orange, when he saw my companies’ awards catalog yesterday, he looked at the cover at dinner and said “Mom, how ’bout you order me one of those cool laser crystal trophies and engrave “World’s Best Son” on it for me? Or you could put World’s Best Goalie, or World’s Best Football Player, or something like that. Please?”

I am grateful for Colors every day. One reason is that since I am a Gold/Green, it’s allowed me to understand him so much better; to see his dominant Orange, appreciate it for all its good qualities, and pick my battles when they really matter. It also helps me to remember that Oranges learn life lessons the hard way a lot, when there are negative consequences that he has to work through. It’s given me the understanding that I have to step back and let him “feel the pain” for things to sink in. And it’s helped me know a little better what helps motivate him. Not to mention how it helps me understand what makes me and the rest of my kids & husband tick. 🙂 C.E.