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Posts Tagged ‘green kids’

Are We Protecting Or Hurting?

March 4th, 2017

Former high Orange NFL player James Harrison recently refused to let his two sons accept participation trophies from their school. “While I am very proud of my boys…these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned, and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes our best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy.” But:

A number of school districts have decided to no longer fail kids, but rather call a non-passing grade “deferred success.”

In parts of Britain, kindergarten teachers are instructed to avoid the word “no.”

As well, one major soccer association (for kids under age 11) no longer keeps scores. Their logic is that the game is about skills, fair play, and sportsmanship, and not making winners or losers.

Swerve magazine asked: By overprotecting our children, are we putting them at even greater risk? Is it really possible to build empathy and help when everyone is equal? Is not keeping score, or failing a test, a way to motivate and improve, or point to a reason to work harder and do better? Can the results of these policies not potentially create a false sense of reality that’ll be shattered really quickly in the real world of adults?

Oranges thrive and grow through competition, games, and winning. They value anything where they have a chance to be the star, to perform, and to become the (recognized) best. They have no problem losing, because it makes them work harder and become more skilled to do better (win) next time.

For Gold kids, it’s valuable when they can quantify things. Just participating without concrete measurements and yardsticks doesn’t allow for that, and makes it very difficult to feel successful. Greens deal in facts and logic – as kids just as much as adults. They played poorly or didn’t study hard enough? That’s fine – now they have measurable and factual feedback to do better next time, and to learn from it.

For kids of all ages and Colors, do remember that the benefit of competition is less about the win and loss, and way more about improvement, learning, and challenges.

 

Colors As Kids…Who Were You?

May 2nd, 2016

Orange: The troublemaker child who was constantly pushing the teacher’s boundaries to keep testing which rules could be bent…or the daredevil child who got themselves banned from most playground equipment by second grade…or the class clown who considered no stunt too dangerous if it earned them the temporary spotlight

Orange/Blue: The wildly imaginative child who had 15,000 answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up

Orange/Green: The child who ruled the playground through a mixture of intimidation and sophisticated political tactics

Orange/Gold: The schoolyard bully who genuinely thought he was doing everyone a favor by telling them what was wrong with them

Green: The reserved and quit child who occasionally blurted something out that was so intelligent that their parents and teachers were genuinely intimidated…or the spacey child who accidentally walked into things because they were busy wondering if Martians were capable of understanding human languages

Gold: The obedient child who took their chores and allowance more serious than many adults in their full-time jobs

Gold/Green: The child whose LEGO skills and attention to detail were only matched by full-time architects

Blue: Often the ‘old soul’ child who could act more like an adult than their parents…or the people-pleasing child who consistently put on a happy face at school, then came home and cried her eyes out over something someone said seven hours earlier

Blue/Gold: The sweet mannered child whom other parents secretly wished were their child… or the easy going child who avoided conflict and would go along with what made everyone else happy

Blue/Orange: The child who everyone described as their best friend

 

Four Short Insights

July 10th, 2014

The Six Step Plan to Fix Your Life: Recently a Green client shared that she stops e mailing and texting people who “need their problems fixed” by 9 PM each night. When you’re fixing, you’re creating dependency, because the other person now needs to get back to you with the next challenge – next week. Greens and Golds frequently do confuse asking good questions with “fixing.” It won’t accomplish what they hope to. It’s kind of like the common Blue confusion between helping and enabling…

Using Colors: Hey George! I have done my Colors before, but never thought of using it as a tool for my business.…Thanks for the note. You HAVE to use it in your business, because you can’t possibly be successful without understanding people. You have to reach them BEFORE you can teach them. Think of Colors like four different languages. Those that speak your language/share your Color connect with you. Those other 70-80% can’t and don’t…

Since it’s vacation season: Watch the people on your team, because everybody is Gold the day before vacation: Focused, relaxed, on-task, delegating, coaching, finishing stuff, charged up, extra energy, sense of humor…

It’s not about feelings: My daughter is now 14 and a very dedicated student – still over a 4.0 GPA. She and a partner had a very big project for social studies and English combined. They researched our genealogy, studied immigration from the countries our family came from, wrote poems about the immigration experience, created a large immigration-type ship as a lift-the-flap with their original poetry under the flaps, as well as pictures with captions they wrote under the flaps. (More like an Usborne Lift-the-Flap experience than a two-year old flap book). It was a major project.

About a week before it was due, I asked the sweet little scholar how she was feeling about her project. “Mom, I don’t FEEL anything – it’s a PROJECT.” N.A.W.

Colorful Personalities Book Excerpt

September 1st, 2010

Here is another in a series of excerpts from the all-new Colorful Personalities book. This month’s section is from the kids chapter:

Parents, get ready: Green children will become very independent, very quickly. It can seem as though there is now a mini-lawyer in the house since Green children ask a lot of probing questions, and will never settle for easy answers. These kids will also catch inconsistencies in answers, which keep their parents constantly on their toes. Their continuous questions will last a lifetime as will their never-ending quest for knowledge, understanding, and growth.

From the time Green children learn to read, or to log onto a computer, they value learning, puzzles, and figuring things out on their own. They are perfectly content being alone, and choose to have small circles of friends that share their joys of learning and exploring, and who can mentally challenge them.

A Green child is not likely to get involved in many social situations, and is perfectly comfortable alone. In later years, this independence will also apply to team sports and group activities where he or she may participate in some, but it will not become his or her preferred setting. It matters very little what other kids think, since Green children are the least likely to succumb to any peer pressure.

In school, Greens typically do not feel comfortable with many kids, lots of noise, and insufficient time to process or absorb material. They value teaching styles which involve logical and well-planned presentations with opportunities for discussion and debates, and where they can ask lots of questions. Green children enjoy independently researching material and thrive on sharing what they have learned with others. Their favorite subjects are math, history, and science, or any areas involving complex problems or areas which stimulate their minds.

Looking For a Gift For A High Green Son Or Daughter?

July 1st, 2007

Depending on their age, you’ve probably already discovered that a high Green kid isn’t easy to buy for. But for younger high Green kids, here are three great ideas to mull:

Magic Sand (Toys R Us): You can put all the water you want on it – the sand in this kit doesn’t get wet. So a mom called me and told me she got very confused. Her daughter was crying about this gift, but couldn’t leave it alone. Was her Green daughter turning “Blue?” No – they were tears of frustration that she couldn’t solve the mystery of this sand!

Tons of things from the Discovery store: This is kind of a no-brainer store, if you’ll excuse the pun – for a high Green. If you can’t access a store – go on line. And yes – just like Green adults want the perfect present (and you probably don’t know what’s perfect for them) gift certificates are just fine. It lets them pick their own perfect present. It’s a great idea for any high Green, and they don’t see it as impersonal at all, as long as it comes from the right store.

AntWorks: This is a new type of ant farm which uses seaweed-based sugar, water and nutrients, instead of dirt or sand. It makes the whole ant farm see-through, consisting entirely of blue-tinted goop. A great high Green gift for around $30 through fascinations.com or a number of retail stores.