Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Gold kids’

Are We Protecting Or Hurting?

March 4th, 2017

Former high Orange NFL player James Harrison recently refused to let his two sons accept participation trophies from their school. “While I am very proud of my boys…these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned, and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes our best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy.” But:

A number of school districts have decided to no longer fail kids, but rather call a non-passing grade “deferred success.”

In parts of Britain, kindergarten teachers are instructed to avoid the word “no.”

As well, one major soccer association (for kids under age 11) no longer keeps scores. Their logic is that the game is about skills, fair play, and sportsmanship, and not making winners or losers.

Swerve magazine asked: By overprotecting our children, are we putting them at even greater risk? Is it really possible to build empathy and help when everyone is equal? Is not keeping score, or failing a test, a way to motivate and improve, or point to a reason to work harder and do better? Can the results of these policies not potentially create a false sense of reality that’ll be shattered really quickly in the real world of adults?

Oranges thrive and grow through competition, games, and winning. They value anything where they have a chance to be the star, to perform, and to become the (recognized) best. They have no problem losing, because it makes them work harder and become more skilled to do better (win) next time.

For Gold kids, it’s valuable when they can quantify things. Just participating without concrete measurements and yardsticks doesn’t allow for that, and makes it very difficult to feel successful. Greens deal in facts and logic – as kids just as much as adults. They played poorly or didn’t study hard enough? That’s fine – now they have measurable and factual feedback to do better next time, and to learn from it.

For kids of all ages and Colors, do remember that the benefit of competition is less about the win and loss, and way more about improvement, learning, and challenges.

 

Colors As Kids…Who Were You?

May 2nd, 2016

Orange: The troublemaker child who was constantly pushing the teacher’s boundaries to keep testing which rules could be bent…or the daredevil child who got themselves banned from most playground equipment by second grade…or the class clown who considered no stunt too dangerous if it earned them the temporary spotlight

Orange/Blue: The wildly imaginative child who had 15,000 answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up

Orange/Green: The child who ruled the playground through a mixture of intimidation and sophisticated political tactics

Orange/Gold: The schoolyard bully who genuinely thought he was doing everyone a favor by telling them what was wrong with them

Green: The reserved and quit child who occasionally blurted something out that was so intelligent that their parents and teachers were genuinely intimidated…or the spacey child who accidentally walked into things because they were busy wondering if Martians were capable of understanding human languages

Gold: The obedient child who took their chores and allowance more serious than many adults in their full-time jobs

Gold/Green: The child whose LEGO skills and attention to detail were only matched by full-time architects

Blue: Often the ‘old soul’ child who could act more like an adult than their parents…or the people-pleasing child who consistently put on a happy face at school, then came home and cried her eyes out over something someone said seven hours earlier

Blue/Gold: The sweet mannered child whom other parents secretly wished were their child… or the easy going child who avoided conflict and would go along with what made everyone else happy

Blue/Orange: The child who everyone described as their best friend

 

A Three-Year Old and the Only Gold In the Family!

March 11th, 2012

Hi George: If you remember, I’m a high Orange married to a first Color Green. Our six year old is Orange/Green and our baby, who is three, is definitely Gold! This has been pretty prominent for quite a while – it just took learning about Colors to figure it out. Every toy in his room has a place, he keeps a few toys on show (which don’t get touched until he changes them) and his desk is empty unless he’s using it.

The other day started out as any other. My son has a schedule for himself that doesn’t change unless I have something that I need to get done. The other day, I had my sister’s kids for the morning. So my son Liam and his cousin were playing in his room all morning – they usually play in his brothers room (it’s OK to mess up his room – we get to play AND my room stays neat)!

When it was time for his cousin to leave, we had some other stuff to get done so I didn’t even check to see if they needed to clean up. Usually they don’t make a big mess so I wasn’t worried. We got into the truck and my son started in on me that my truck was “filthy” (his word) because there was some road spray dried on it. So to make him happy, we went through the car wash. (As a result I forgot to do about half the things on my Orange sort-of to-do list).

That night, I walked into his room and it was as messy as his brothers! Every toy, book and crayon was on the floor. I told him his room was very messy and he’d have to clean it in the morning as I cleared a path to his bed (I probably shouldn’t have said it, I didn’t want him to feel bad about it – but it just came out).

About 20 minutes after putting him to bed – we heard what we thought was playing in his room – which isn’t like him to play after the lights go out. My husband put him back to bed, but this happened about three times before he actually went to sleep. The next morning when I went into his room, it was spotless. Everything was back in its place! A little while later my son came to me and told me that he was sorry he wasn’t sleeping last night, but it “bugged him” that his room was messy.

This happens at school also. The one activity for his playschool the other day was to cut out a paper star. Everyone in his class cut the paper into a million little pieces and went on to something else. Liam’s actually looked like a star – but he was still upset that he went off the lines. When he colors, it’s the same thing!

Of course, we don’t mess with his schedule too much, if we can avoid it. Before the last school break my husband was already on vacation and he volunteered to take the boys to school. Well I guess Daddy didn’t do things “right” because his whole day was a little off, and after that he was still quite agitated when I picked him up.

His teacher, and other people that know him, tell me he’s quite advanced for his age. He’s got a fantastic vocabulary, he watches his big brother when he’s doing his kindergarten homework and like a sponge he’s picking it all up. In school he listens, behaves and participates in class. But I think it’s because he’s so Gold that he’s different from most the other kids his age.

Since taking the Colors course, we definitely parent differently. The kids have different punishments now, and the way we interact with them has grown a lot! M.W.

A Three-Year Old and the Only Gold In the Family

October 1st, 2007

Hi George: If you remember, I’m a high Orange married to a first Color Green. Our six year old is Orange/Green and our baby, who is three, is definitely Gold! This has been pretty prominent for quite a while – it just took learning about Colors to figure it out. Every toy in Liam’s room has a place, he keeps a few toys on show (which don’t get touched until he changes them) and his desk is empty unless he’s using it. The other day started out as any other. My son has a schedule for himself that doesn’t change unless I have something that I need to get done.

The other day, I had my sister’s kids for the morning. So my son Liam and his cousin were playing in his room all morning – they usually play in his brothers room (it’s OK to mess up his room – we get to play AND my room stays neat)!

When it was time for his cousin to leave, we had some other stuff to get done so I didn’t even check to see if they needed to clean up. Usually they don’t make a big mess so I wasn’t worried. We got into the truck and my son started in on me that my truck was “filthy” (his word) because there was some road spray dried on it. So to make him happy, we went through the car wash. (As a result I forgot to do about half the things on my Orange sort-of to-do list).

That night, I walked into his room and it was as messy as his brothers! Every toy, book and crayon was on the floor. I told him his room was very messy and he’d have to clean it in the morning as I cleared a path to his bed (I probably shouldn’t have said it, I didn’t want him to feel bad about it – but it just came out).

About 20 minutes after putting him to bed – we heard what we thought was playing in his room – which isn’t like him to play after the lights go out. My husband put him back to bed, but this happened about three times before he actually went to sleep. The next morning when I went into his room, it was spotless. Everything was back in its place! A little while later my son came to me and told me that he was sorry he wasn’t sleeping last night, but it “bugged him” that his room was messy.

This happens at school also. The one activity for his playschool the other day was to cut out a paper star. Everyone in his class cut the paper into a million little pieces and went on to something else. Liam’s actually looked like a star – but he was still upset that he went off the lines. When he colors, it’s the same thing!

Of course, we don’t mess with his schedule too much, if we can avoid it. Before the last school break my husband was already on vacation and he volunteered to take the boys to school. Well I guess Daddy didn’t do things “right” because his whole day was a little off, and after that he was still quite agitated when I picked him up.

His teacher, and other people that know him, tell me he’s quite advanced for his age. He’s got a fantastic vocabulary, he watches his big brother when he’s doing his kindergarten homework and like a sponge he’s picking it all up. In school he listens, behaves and participates in class. But I think it’s because he’s so Gold that he’s different from most the other kids his age.

Since taking the Colors course, we definitely parent differently. The kids have different punishments now, and the way we interact with them has grown a lot! Melody Wilson