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Posts Tagged ‘Blue’

What Blues Get Being Too Nice

July 5th, 2016

A large part of the Blue self-esteem is built through teamwork, relationships with others, and helping people. But, like most of our strengths – taken a bit too far, they become trouble. In the case of Blues, it’s less about trouble for others, but way more about trouble for them.

“Five things to expect by being just a little too nice” comes from powerofpositivity.com. Here are three of the big ones:

People can take advantage of you: When you put the needs of others’ ahead of yourself, people will notice and can start to expect it. It’s hard to find that line between helping and enabling. But if you don’t find it, or take the feedback from someone you trust who can see it, you’ll get taken advantage of. Nobody pays more for something than the asking price! People won’t value you higher than you value yourself.

Blues can have unrealistic expectations of others: To twist an old saying around: You expect others to do unto you as you always do onto others. Not gonna happen. You can only control your karmic energy…others have to take ownership of theirs. Plus, most of the world doesn’t function through intuition. They don’t know when you need help, because you won’t ask. You assume they “should” know…news flash: They don’t! Get out of the cycle of not asking-then getting resentful, and test it by asking when you need something.

They’ll forget to take care of themselves. If you think TLC is only for others, you’re so wrong. But you already know that. That can get you down, which can get you to hide in that ‘nobody loves me’ mood and then it’s (often) only chocolate that’s your best friend. Learning to say no and to set boundaries doesn’t make you mean, or less lovable. It means you’ve found that perfect life-balance and the ultimate harmony between helping others and still taking care of yourself.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddah

Do Blues Have a Problem?

January 8th, 2015

There’s an old insurance industry slogan that’s also used in a powerful way by the Choices seminar (choicesseminars.com) that I keep talking about during the Colors seminars: Be Do Have – Be prepared to Do what it takes to Have what you want. We’ll leave the challenges the other three Colors have of not being prepared to do what it takes for another time…

For Blues, it can often be the ‘have’ part that isn’t working in their life. In the last few months, three Blues have shared that their relationships are dysfunctional, or quite one-sided, to put it mildly. They’re currently settling for ‘crumbs’ as one described it. They open their hearts, commit to the relationship way before a reasonable test drive, and jump in immediately, based on their intuition. Often logic would dictate to wait until he (since most Blues are women…) gets his crap together, gets a job, gets his old girlfriend out of his life, and dozens more examples… They’ll have the relationship, but is it worth having?

Blues are prepared to do what it takes to be included, to be liked, cared about, and often to be in a relationship. But are they often working on the wrong “Be Do?” Shouldn’t Blues start backwards with a clear definition of what “have” looks like? All that BE and Do just to have leftovers? How about changing the saying around for Blues: Be prepared to NOT do what it takes, until you define what it really is that you want to have and deserve.

Your Blue Is Showing

April 7th, 2014

Quite often I hear someone say that another person “must have a lot of Blue in them.” While we all know what that means, we all do have a lot of Blue within each of us, no matter what our primary Color! We are all Blue – and Green and Orange and Gold… in one order or another.

Just like the words freedom, fun, family, or honesty have very different definitions for each Color, our Blue comes out in very different ways, and at different times, whether it’s your first Color or your last! But when you have an understanding of Colors, you need to look for the very different ways it manifests itself.

For Golds, their “Blue” frequently shows in doing nice things for others, since they value being helpful and cooperative. But it’s also doing many things that other Colors might not notice. Golds do something because it is the right thing to do – and because it needs doing. It’s not about drawing attention to it, but just to help out. And it will often be in the form of actions, instead of words.

High Greens show you they care by giving you advice, or perhaps better ways something should be done, another way you could do something, or maybe sharing a book, magazine, or web story that will really help you to grow or learn. They care enough to want you to learn and to do better!
Most high Orange will show their caring through verbal feedback, positive affirmations, inviting you along, or maybe by using their great sense of humor to get you back on track, looking at the positive side, or pulling you out of your current state.

As the old saying goes: Different strokes for different folks. Look through the long list of each Color’s strengths in the Colorful Personalities book, and you will see how each of us uses our strengths in “Blue” ways. But it will always be up to you to pay attention, and to look for the value (look for the Blue) in all Colors. It is always present in a wide variety of subtle ways, if we just choose to look and to listen.

A Great E-Mail Question

March 1st, 2009

Hi George: Can you share some information on how we can adjust our lives using our insights of Colors? I am a Gold/Blue, a workaholic, and would like to learn strategies to learn how to place importance on ME and to set some healthy boundaries. Life is slipping by and I want to smell the roses, but find it hard to do. M.

Hey M: As you described so correctly, our second Color matters a lot! You’re another Gold workaholic and can’t say no. Gee – the former is totally Gold and the latter is a real challenge (doubly so) for most Gold/Blues. Blues want to be loved and included so they don’t say no, and Golds do things out of a sense of duty and responsibility.

But when the Gold “I have to do it,” or your Blue “they need me,” burns the candle at both ends it does NOT make you a brighter light. It just burns you out faster. For Golds, the more stress they have and the less “perfect” life is going, the more they work, thinking that doing “more” will make it better. Besides, it’s a great place to “hide” from life and facing other issues. It’s a safe place to be, they’re good at it, it’s a world Golds can control and it makes them invaluable…just before burning out, as they’re stressed to the max, snaps, gets sick, hardens the tone of their voice, become less flexible and more rigid.

So what’s really going on that you’re hiding from, avoiding or not wanting to change? What would happen if you said no and set some gentle boundaries? What do you feel you’d lose vs. what would you gain? Until the gain is bigger than the perceived loss, you won’t move. The pain has to be big enough to choose to act.

Isn’t part of the workaholic issue that the moment you get out the door you still have a to-do list managing your life? Can you have an entire day of nothing planned without feeling you’re being irresponsible? Can you take your great organizational skills and pass the buck without feeling you’re slouching off without feeling nobody else could do it, from filing at work to a cleaning person at home? And to start, can you change your stinkin thinkin from ways it can’t be done, changed or improved to actually thinking of how it IS possible and you deserve better? Are you worth it?

The Colors of Santa?

December 1st, 2007

His Green plans all year round, creates efficiencies and makes sure to learn from last year, since there’s no room for error when you’re working one long night where everything is on the line and HAS to go perfectly.

His Gold makes a list, OK many lists, checks them twice (at least) and plans the most efficient route. Plus, Santa is NEVER late, sick or misses a year. THAT is not an option – ever.

His Blue LOVES kids and everyone. He always has time to really listen to them and makes sure each of them feels included and gets to experience the special feeling of Christmas. Santa just wishes he could see the faces of kids when they do get to open that special present…

His Orange is hugely positive. He’s always laughing (HO HO HO!) and is very flexible, since kids have been known to change their minds about the fifty gifts they really really have to have this year. And Santa’s not really that strict with the naughty or nice thing, if the truth were known…who can remember stuff from February…oh – and his high Orange is very generous!

American Idol and Paula Abdul

October 1st, 2007

If you’ve ever watched even just one episode of American Idol, it’s clear that Simon Cowell is high Green and that Paula Abdul is high Blue. If you’re a fan of the show, can you ever think of a time when she’s given any negative feedback to anyone? At worst, she’ll downplay an awful performance and find the good in the person, whether that’d be their stage performance, or just that they looked beautiful, right?

In an interview with the Associated Press, Abdul admitted that she didn’t actually figure out her purpose in life until she became a judge on American Idol. In fact, she shared that her contribution on the show even beats her millions of record sales or Grammy Award.

Whether you admire that about her or not it’s important to understand this huge Blue value. Abdul makes her best effort to stay positive and look for the value in everyone and everything. At times, that’s hard to do even for Abdul, who has certainly gone through her share of pain and tragedy, suffering from a chronic neurological disorder.

But perhaps one of her most powerful beliefs and values is one that millions of high Blues share in one way or another: “I knew since I was a little girl that I had this profound way of touching people. My purpose is bringing out everybody’s best and being that cheerleader to other people’s success.”