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Posts Tagged ‘Blue’

What Blues Get Being Too Nice

July 5th, 2016

A large part of the Blue self-esteem is built through teamwork, relationships with others, and helping people. But, like most of our strengths – taken a bit too far, they become trouble. In the case of Blues, it’s less about trouble for others, but way more about trouble for them.

“Five things to expect by being just a little too nice” comes from powerofpositivity.com. Here are three of the big ones:

People can take advantage of you: When you put the needs of others’ ahead of yourself, people will notice and can start to expect it. It’s hard to find that line between helping and enabling. But if you don’t find it, or take the feedback from someone you trust who can see it, you’ll get taken advantage of. Nobody pays more for something than the asking price! People won’t value you higher than you value yourself.

Blues can have unrealistic expectations of others: To twist an old saying around: You expect others to do unto you as you always do onto others. Not gonna happen. You can only control your karmic energy…others have to take ownership of theirs. Plus, most of the world doesn’t function through intuition. They don’t know when you need help, because you won’t ask. You assume they “should” know…news flash: They don’t! Get out of the cycle of not asking-then getting resentful, and test it by asking when you need something.

They’ll forget to take care of themselves. If you think TLC is only for others, you’re so wrong. But you already know that. That can get you down, which can get you to hide in that ‘nobody loves me’ mood and then it’s (often) only chocolate that’s your best friend. Learning to say no and to set boundaries doesn’t make you mean, or less lovable. It means you’ve found that perfect life-balance and the ultimate harmony between helping others and still taking care of yourself.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddah

Do Blues Have a Problem?

January 8th, 2015

There’s an old insurance industry slogan that’s also used in a powerful way by the Choices seminar (choicesseminars.com) that I keep talking about during the Colors seminars: Be Do Have – Be prepared to Do what it takes to Have what you want. We’ll leave the challenges the other three Colors have of not being prepared to do what it takes for another time…

For Blues, it can often be the ‘have’ part that isn’t working in their life. In the last few months, three Blues have shared that their relationships are dysfunctional, or quite one-sided, to put it mildly. They’re currently settling for ‘crumbs’ as one described it. They open their hearts, commit to the relationship way before a reasonable test drive, and jump in immediately, based on their intuition. Often logic would dictate to wait until he (since most Blues are women…) gets his crap together, gets a job, gets his old girlfriend out of his life, and dozens more examples… They’ll have the relationship, but is it worth having?

Blues are prepared to do what it takes to be included, to be liked, cared about, and often to be in a relationship. But are they often working on the wrong “Be Do?” Shouldn’t Blues start backwards with a clear definition of what “have” looks like? All that BE and Do just to have leftovers? How about changing the saying around for Blues: Be prepared to NOT do what it takes, until you define what it really is that you want to have and deserve.

Your Blue Is Showing

April 7th, 2014

Quite often I hear someone say that another person “must have a lot of Blue in them.” While we all know what that means, we all do have a lot of Blue within each of us, no matter what our primary Color! We are all Blue – and Green and Orange and Gold… in one order or another.

Just like the words freedom, fun, family, or honesty have very different definitions for each Color, our Blue comes out in very different ways, and at different times, whether it’s your first Color or your last! But when you have an understanding of Colors, you need to look for the very different ways it manifests itself.

For Golds, their “Blue” frequently shows in doing nice things for others, since they value being helpful and cooperative. But it’s also doing many things that other Colors might not notice. Golds do something because it is the right thing to do – and because it needs doing. It’s not about drawing attention to it, but just to help out. And it will often be in the form of actions, instead of words.

High Greens show you they care by giving you advice, or perhaps better ways something should be done, another way you could do something, or maybe sharing a book, magazine, or web story that will really help you to grow or learn. They care enough to want you to learn and to do better!
Most high Orange will show their caring through verbal feedback, positive affirmations, inviting you along, or maybe by using their great sense of humor to get you back on track, looking at the positive side, or pulling you out of your current state.

As the old saying goes: Different strokes for different folks. Look through the long list of each Color’s strengths in the Colorful Personalities book, and you will see how each of us uses our strengths in “Blue” ways. But it will always be up to you to pay attention, and to look for the value (look for the Blue) in all Colors. It is always present in a wide variety of subtle ways, if we just choose to look and to listen.

A Great E-Mail Question

March 1st, 2009

Hi George: Can you share some information on how we can adjust our lives using our insights of Colors? I am a Gold/Blue, a workaholic, and would like to learn strategies to learn how to place importance on ME and to set some healthy boundaries. Life is slipping by and I want to smell the roses, but find it hard to do. M.

Hey M: As you described so correctly, our second Color matters a lot! You’re another Gold workaholic and can’t say no. Gee – the former is totally Gold and the latter is a real challenge (doubly so) for most Gold/Blues. Blues want to be loved and included so they don’t say no, and Golds do things out of a sense of duty and responsibility.

But when the Gold “I have to do it,” or your Blue “they need me,” burns the candle at both ends it does NOT make you a brighter light. It just burns you out faster. For Golds, the more stress they have and the less “perfect” life is going, the more they work, thinking that doing “more” will make it better. Besides, it’s a great place to “hide” from life and facing other issues. It’s a safe place to be, they’re good at it, it’s a world Golds can control and it makes them invaluable…just before burning out, as they’re stressed to the max, snaps, gets sick, hardens the tone of their voice, become less flexible and more rigid.

So what’s really going on that you’re hiding from, avoiding or not wanting to change? What would happen if you said no and set some gentle boundaries? What do you feel you’d lose vs. what would you gain? Until the gain is bigger than the perceived loss, you won’t move. The pain has to be big enough to choose to act.

Isn’t part of the workaholic issue that the moment you get out the door you still have a to-do list managing your life? Can you have an entire day of nothing planned without feeling you’re being irresponsible? Can you take your great organizational skills and pass the buck without feeling you’re slouching off without feeling nobody else could do it, from filing at work to a cleaning person at home? And to start, can you change your stinkin thinkin from ways it can’t be done, changed or improved to actually thinking of how it IS possible and you deserve better? Are you worth it?

Taking Advantage Of A Blue?

July 1st, 2008

A few months ago, Donna (not her real name) sent me a “venting” e-mail. As a high Blue she was really hurt as she felt totally used and abused by some people in her office. I’m proud of her that she actually gave some feedback to her boss, but like a typical Blue, she was not going to confront the actual people who were causing the problem. After all, Blues believe in “peace at all cost,” even if it kills them. It takes a lot to get a Blue to make a scene, or stand up to the bullies or users.

Donna works with a number of high Oranges who were complaining that: “I don’t do stuff for them, like wipe their nose and kiss their feet.” I felt pretty sad that they’d say untrue things and they’ve ratted me out pretty badly.” The only thing Donna did do was to skip an office party they were having because “I don’t want to hang around people who stab me in the back for no reason.” (Yet who was punishing whom by her not attending?)

Instead, I e-mailed her back a note of what she should have said. It made her feel better, even though she didn’t – of course.

Dear Orange friends:

I’m sorry that you believe I don’t do enough for you. I know that you hate paperwork and all the little details that have to be done, because they’re not going away, but you want someone, anyone to do them for you. But here, just like at home – you’re accountable for your own actions and work.

I’m high Blue. My DNA includes always wondering if I do enough to start with. I do! But it’s not helpful when you push that button, oblivious to my Colors, and inaccurate to start with. But I’m also learning the difference between helping and enabling, and you’re asking for enabling and babysitting.

I’m always here for you and so love being part of the team and doing what I can, when I can, within reason. It’s a huge self esteem builder for me to be helpful, whether it’s part of my job, or I choose to chip in and help. But this quickly turns to a nightmare when you become unreasonable and simply avoid what you need to do in order to become more successful.

The Blue Christian Personality

January 1st, 2008

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus

to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Ephesians 2:10

If you are old enough to remember the Beatle’s song: ‘All you need is love,’ or the John Lennon song: ‘Imagine,’ you are well on the way to understanding the life of a Blue. They certainly live the beautiful Bible verse above in thought, word and deeds. Life is lived to the glory of God through helping others and connecting with them in real and meaningful ways. Blues thrive on volunteering in areas where they are making a difference in the lives of others and in creating an inclusive and loving environment of peace and harmony.

Blues are typically unselfish and have a great drive to lend a hand and to contribute to make a small difference in the lives of others. It is something they do with great passion and enthusiasm, especially if the cause or project focuses on people-first areas where they are able to serve others and develop relationships. Blues like to be valued for their unique contribution to a group, instead of being compared to others.

“Each one should test his own actions.

Then he can take pride in himself, without

comparing himself to somebody else.”

Galatians 6:4

Blues appreciate how blessed they are and always see the wonders and beauty of the world God has created. They see the good in every person and every situation because of their gifts of love, patience, caring, sharing and being an unwavering fighter for the underdog. This is not learned or something they think about, it is just part of their DNA that they draw strengths and build self-esteem in doing things with others, resulting in feeling included and involved. Every day, in almost every way, Blues really do practice God’s unconditional love for others.

Their drive to care for others and to feel cared about can often result in putting the needs and feelings of others ahead of their own wishes. This makes saying ‘no’ and setting boundaries two of the biggest challenges for Blues who are challenged in acknowledging their own needs and assuring they do take care of themselves. After all, Blues will always turn their spare time into time to spare for others.