That Intricate Dance of Gold Lies…

November 11th, 2018

It’s November, and approaching another season of get-togethers, parties, Christmas celebrations, and dinners.  So other Colors probably needs to understand how much coordinating it takes Golds to have everyone there on time. Yes, that’s the part that matters to Golds – sometimes more than the get-together or the celebration…

Dinner is really at 6:00, but Mom is always late. So we need to tell her it’s at 5:30, but then tell Dad, in confidence, that it’s really 6:00. One relative is chronically late so we tell him to be at our house by 6:30 AT THE LATEST, knowing he’ll be there by 7:30 and that’s when we want to actually start anyway…and so on and so on…

Many Golds think that these kind of white lies are necessary to keep their stress level down because others…well, they’re not big with the “on-time” thing. Not to mention the fights it can cause in relationships meeting others for dinner when the Gold partner just doesn’t see why’re being ordered to be ready at 6:22 SHARP. (Newsflash: Consciously, or subconsciously, the non-Gold partner will often rebel in many different ways…)

Since you’ve spent a long time already trying to make others in your life more Gold without any success, and at the expense of your stress, how about trying something different?

-A party doesn’t have a fixed start time – honestly. So give yourself permission to get there…whenever…

-If it’s a dinner and your partner isn’t ready, give them lots of notice that you need to be there on time, and you two may have to take different vehicles. You’re leaving at a certain time and your partner may have to take an Uber and meet you there.

-And if the dinner is at your house, take the place setting away for someone who isn’t there, start your dinner party, and enjoy yourself by focusing on who IS there. When the other person shows up, they can grab their setting and catch up – or not… Their procrastination isn’t going to be your stress, and you’re not focusing exclusively on the empty seat and setting!

That last point is something I constantly have to deal with at the start of a seminar. 38 people are there, and the manager or director asks me to wait 10 more minutes for two missing people. Since he or she hasn’t done Colors, I don’t have a choice as it’s their team. If that person already knows Colors, I remind them that 38 people ARE in the room and ready to start. Why on earth would we punish those people, and teach 38 of them that 9:00 am actually means 9:10 am for every staff function from now on?

Two Green Parents – Two Blue Kids

November 11th, 2018

Hi George! Thanks for sending me the Parent & Child book. After your seminar I’ve had lots of interesting conversations with my family and coworkers. I’ve mulled over the book (as any Green would) and this is what I see in my children:

The oldest is an Orange 12 year old boy. The playing to win attitude is strong and drives his love for athletics. He needs constant activities, nd can focus when his body is active and being challenged. Orange is my lowest Color, and the seminar was eye-opening to what is going on in his mind. He needs some freedom from us, and to have accomplishments in small quick wins.

The second oldest is an 11 year old Blue girl. She is always thinking of others’ feelings and quick to take care of her younger siblings. She says she is too old for cuddles, but she needs quality time spent with her parents, and for us to listen to her with eye contact and welcoming (non Green) faces!

The third is a five year old Blue boy. He loves to be cuddled, and can often have hurt feelings when there’s a misunderstanding on the playground or when someone isn’t “nice.” He needs his physical touch and time spent reading and talking together without us being distracted doing other things.

The baby of the family isn’t quite two yet. It’s hard to tell what Color she is…but she’s adventurous and wants to climb maybe an Orange…   KP

Can We Be Orange Without the Score to Prove It?

November 11th, 2018

Hi George: I am high Green/Gold AND people have often pointed out that I seem to be very Orange. How could that be? After everything is taken care of properly, I can relax and be silly – but how can I be “high” Orange but not verbal and disorganized?

I can laugh, but for a lot of years, during difficult times, I don’t remember laughing.  As a matter of fact, that is one reason that I married my husband – I noticed that I was laughing around him. So, what do you think? I do love me and think that I am pretty well rounded.”

Hello Green/Gold buddy: If you’re looking for definitive answers – you’re out of luck, because Colors isn’t a math thing, or an exact science. It sounds like you’re confused, when you should be happy, instead. Are you wondering if you HAVE to be a certain way because your score has defined you? Are you kidding? You’re all four Colors, whether that’s by score or behavior. After all, there’s a time and a place for everything, isn’t there? Plus, our behaviors are not our Colors.

You’re not “losing” your Green or Gold, and maybe the Orange isn’t and won’t be reflected in your score, but there’s a lot of ways to be Orange. Just like there are lots of ways to show your blue caring and compassion. If you can embrace and grow your “orangeness” you’re well on the way!

Right now, your fun is “earned” after the work is done, as is the case for Golds. You’ve learned to laugh again, not to take things so seriously, or to worry about everything. Pick your spots, ease up on the hundreds of rules you have, know when perfect is important, and when “good enough” really is good enough. Remember that there are four different definitions of organized and that “whatever” sometimes is a great answer the times you get so worked up about silly stuff in the big picture of life.

You’ve had a huge Orange deficiency for years – it’s great that you’re “back” and make sure your husband gets the recognition and rewards for helping you with that!

Oranges are always looking for a few good people to join them! The tools of Colors are like a buffet. You don’t have to take everything – you pick what you want! That’s how we grow, become coachable and learn. I would also be nice if your Green could re-think the labeling of Oranges, and your Gold could take them off the Orange judgment list.

What Each Color Does On Halloween?

October 2nd, 2018

Green: Tells people what’s wrong with their costumes. Wonders why everybody runs away crying when they were just giving helpful feedback…

Gold: Even though they’re just a guest, spends their time making sure everyone is doing okay, restocking the snacks and cleaning up.

Green/Gold: Decides to stay sober in order to be productive tomorrow. Accidentally eats six weed brownies.

Blue/Gold: Shows up at party wearing a matching costume to their ex in a big romantic gesture to try to win them back.

Gold/Green: Stays home and turns off all the lights.

Orange: Just comes for the free drinks. Throws pumpkins off the roof and TPs the neighbors place.

Blue/Gold: Forgets to have any fun. Asks anyone wearing anything darker than a Disney princess costume if they’d be comfortable talking about what they’re going through…

Orange/Green: Shows up late in a space helmet, tutu and Hawaiian shirt with a chainsaw in one hand and tricycle in the other because they wanted to be 12 different things and couldn’t fully decide on any one of them.

Gold/Blue: Excited to finally put on their costume they’ve been dreaming about and planning since June. Does a bit of reading because they’re ready way too early and falls asleep at 7:30

Green/Orange: Too busy fixing the world all month to get a costume. Barters their way into borrowing yours. Once they’ve left you realize you got nothing out of that deal.    Adapted from MBTI post by Kathryn Stanley

Who Likes Lineups?

October 2nd, 2018

Collectively, us North Americans spend over 40 billion hours in lineups each year. No wonder, Greens (when possible) just go online, Oranges bail, and Golds lose their mind.

But we endure them over and over again. Toronto recently opened their first Cheesecake Factory and the first weekend lineups were over two hours for a restaurant that, according to most people, isn’t that good. We endure lineups at grocery stores, our mandatory coffee stop, for an elevator, and almost everywhere else.

Disney amusement parks, which are way more about lineups than actual amusement, puts huge work into analyzing their guests’ perception of lineups in order to keep them happy. It turns out that it’s all about distractions, having something to do in the line, and the perception of how long it’ll take to get to the front. Who knew social scientists work on this?

Disney has lots of lineup entertainment, and manipulate your expectations by overestimating the length of time in line. That way you’ll be pleasantly surprise that “it took less time than I thought…” Elevator banks often have full-length mirrors to give you something to do/look at while waiting. (Looking great, Ms. Orange…yes, your tie matches, Mr. Gold…beautiful smile Ms. Blue…no, Mr. Green, you don’t need to look in the mirror to see yourself thinking…) It’s also why stores have their candy, impulse stuff, and magazines in the cash register lineup…

Unpreventable lines has an entire industry working on helping us not have a meltdown. I’ve always hated flying into Kansas City. My luggage always takes forever to finally show up. Yet, I’ve always loved the international arrivals at the Calgary airport where my luggage was often on the carousel before me! Well, it turns out that’s not exactly true. Perceptions aren’t reality…

Houston averaged one minute to walk from the gate to baggage claims, and seven minutes for luggage to show up. And people were ticked off all the time. After their studies, the airport moved the arrival gates away from the main terminal and sent the luggage to the outermost carousels. The result: Same total eight minutes, but passenger complaints dropped to near zero!

So next time (every time) you’re in a lineup, do what Greens do: Look around to see what they’ve done to occupy your mind and your eyes. And share what your first Color is, what you’ll line up for, and how long before you bail…

Roomates 101

October 2nd, 2018

The most challenging and interesting types of relationships are certainly those involving roommates – especially for people who don’t understand Colors. Sometimes, a roommate is by choice, with limited information or you decide to split expenses with a friend for the first time. Other times, this time of the year, you have no input when your school assigns you a roommate. In every case, it certainly takes some effort to understand the combination of your needs and habits as well as those of the roommate. Here are some tips and hints of what to expect in your new relationship.

Orange: Your Orange roommates are fun and generous people who easily become friends with everyone. Most are extraverts that love to entertain, and live life to the fullest. Social stuff first – studies or work after that. They will readily invite you along to dinners, parties and other fun, bonding activities. If you’re not wanting to tag along, or take too long to decide (maybe an hour?) – no problem – they’ll find someone else. Doing chores is certainly not their strong point, but your room will certainly be colorful, if not somewhat cluttered with their sports equipment or materials for their creative projects. The phone will also ring often, as they have a large circle of friends. With these roommates, there is seldom a dull moment and they are very able to stay upbeat and optimistic with a great sense of humour.

Gold: Your Gold roommates are very responsible and traditional, even in their first years on their own. You won’t get away with having a messy room, and your roommate will expect you to honor their quiet time put aside for studies or work. Gold roommates are extremely trustworthy and dependable. They find safety in their routines, as well as tried and tested ways of doing things or places to frequent. You’ll value their focus on ensuring that your place is safe, clean and comfortable. They will also be very driven by planning and scheduling things, their preferred way of going through life without too much spontaneity. So, no sudden change of plans or anyone just ‘dropping by’. If you are sharing classes or work, they will have extensive notes and materials well organized and easily accessible.

Blue: For your Blue roommate, proximity means an opportunity for friendship. They can be a little reserved at first, but after their strong sense of intuition and communication skills have decided to include you; they will readily make strong friendships and be very accomodating. A ‘business-like’ arrangement is likely to be quite uncomfortable for them, and tends to make them feel ‘untrusted’ or ‘unwelcome,’ although they’ll rarely say it. These roommates live life in their hearts and will talk in terms of feelings, dreams and possibilities. They have an easy and natural way of looking for the good in all things and all people. They are usually willing to be a shoulder to cry on when it is needed and are great listeners and friends.

Green: Don’t expect your Green roommate to become your best friend – unless you two share similar scholastic or intellectual passions. You’ll have a roommate with a calm & cool demeanor, quite reserved, an easy-going attitude, and tons of questions. Your Green roommate values establishing credibility – in processes just as much as employers, professors or roommates. If their roommate is intellectually stimulating, they will readily socialize with them. If not, they keep to themselves, which is just fine with them. They’re not big social creatures, and are quite happy by themselves, in the library, reading, doing puzzles, staying late at work, or almost anything else that is mentally stimulating. Don’t take it personally if you’re a Blue or an Orange.