Home > Nov/Dec 2018 > That Intricate Dance of Gold Lies…

That Intricate Dance of Gold Lies…

November 11th, 2018

It’s November, and approaching another season of get-togethers, parties, Christmas celebrations, and dinners.  So other Colors probably needs to understand how much coordinating it takes Golds to have everyone there on time. Yes, that’s the part that matters to Golds – sometimes more than the get-together or the celebration…

Dinner is really at 6:00, but Mom is always late. So we need to tell her it’s at 5:30, but then tell Dad, in confidence, that it’s really 6:00. One relative is chronically late so we tell him to be at our house by 6:30 AT THE LATEST, knowing he’ll be there by 7:30 and that’s when we want to actually start anyway…and so on and so on…

Many Golds think that these kind of white lies are necessary to keep their stress level down because others…well, they’re not big with the “on-time” thing. Not to mention the fights it can cause in relationships meeting others for dinner when the Gold partner just doesn’t see why’re being ordered to be ready at 6:22 SHARP. (Newsflash: Consciously, or subconsciously, the non-Gold partner will often rebel in many different ways…)

Since you’ve spent a long time already trying to make others in your life more Gold without any success, and at the expense of your stress, how about trying something different?

-A party doesn’t have a fixed start time – honestly. So give yourself permission to get there…whenever…

-If it’s a dinner and your partner isn’t ready, give them lots of notice that you need to be there on time, and you two may have to take different vehicles. You’re leaving at a certain time and your partner may have to take an Uber and meet you there.

-And if the dinner is at your house, take the place setting away for someone who isn’t there, start your dinner party, and enjoy yourself by focusing on who IS there. When the other person shows up, they can grab their setting and catch up – or not… Their procrastination isn’t going to be your stress, and you’re not focusing exclusively on the empty seat and setting!

That last point is something I constantly have to deal with at the start of a seminar. 38 people are there, and the manager or director asks me to wait 10 more minutes for two missing people. Since he or she hasn’t done Colors, I don’t have a choice as it’s their team. If that person already knows Colors, I remind them that 38 people ARE in the room and ready to start. Why on earth would we punish those people, and teach 38 of them that 9:00 am actually means 9:10 am for every staff function from now on?

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