Home > January 2016 > Green and Blue: Opposites Attract…But…

Green and Blue: Opposites Attract…But…

January 7th, 2016

Green and high Blue (that is, a Blue partner whose first or second Color is Blue) is a very common relationship combination. The vast majority of times, it’s a Green “he,” and a Blue “she”. So, for you Greens, here’s something to think about:

If your computer needs a bigger hard drive, I’d bet you’d have it bought and installed by the end of the day. Spending that $100 or so becomes a huge priority. OK, fair enough. What if you could upgrade the hard drive of your relationship with less effort and time than that? In your mind, rate your relationship with your high Blue partner on a scale of 1 to 10. OK, now think about how your partner would rate it. I’d bet if you were honest, your partner would rate it a little lower than your intellectual “rating decision.” Logically, everything may be terrific in your relationship, but for your Blue partner it’s not about logic, and they cannot tell their heart what to think.

-If only you have done Colors, it doesn’t help. You need to teach them Colors. Have your high Blue partner do the assessment and read the Blue chapter, then the Green chapter to understand you a little better. If nothing else, it will put words and explanations to what they already knew. (And send me a note to let you know the next Open seminar).

-Teach them the value of your one-hour of Green time, what you do, why you need it, and why it’s not optional. It’s not about anti-social or what they did to make you mad (one big reason why they’ll rate the relationship differently – they just don’t understand…)

-Two hugs a day. It won’t kill you, and you won’t even have to tell the Blues at work that you’re doing it, thinking you’ll lose your credibility…

-Let him or her (or make it yourself) have one call a day just to “say hello.” It’s a Blue hug by telephone to just hear your voice! No, it’s not logical. No, they really don’t have a reason to call. But suck it up and do it. It really matters to them. So stop the really common: What’s up – what do you need – why did you call…

-Once a week, “let them in” by sharing something genuine from your heart and feelings. Tell them something that scared you, that overwhelmed you, a hurtful comment, etc. Just make sure it’s honest and genuine. It doesn’t make you weak, and won’t turn you “Blue,” but you’d be amazed how your partner will feel more loved because of it.

Is it worth it? Only you can decide. Will it make a difference? Guaranteed. Does it make sense? Not at all. But do it anyway, because 100 hours of logical conversations won’t hold a candle to those simple steps.

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