A Significant Gold Curse

September 28th, 2015

After a recent seminar, a Gold lady wanted to ask me why she felt like such a failure: “Sometimes I get so depressed with all the things I haven’t accomplished yet”. What? When she broke it down, her Gold stress was all based on a to-do list she first set for herself when she came to Canada a decade ago: Do this in five years, do this by year seven, get this done, then have this accomplished, and so on.

The scripting she did in the first few months is still depressing her to this day! It’s not just her, it’s almost every Gold scripting decades into the future for their kids, their careers, the money they’ve saved (or not) for retirement, getting their professional designation, upgrading, promotion, and a host of other issues.

The typical Gold black or white mindset, and fixed to do list, can make Golds feel like a failure and become depressing at times. It’s not likely they’ll share that with others, though. Golds tend to be very private, they believe it will probably make them sound like losers, others likely wouldn’t understand, and it’s not like they could do anything about it. So why verbalize it, if there’s nothing to be accomplished by it.

While it’s much easier said than done, it’s really important to stay in the moment. It takes some work, but you need to stop scripting so much so far ahead, in such vivid detail. Yes, you want to plan, but plan things that are within your control! That doesn’t include a lifetime roadmap for your kids and the likes!

The only people who can “make” a script come true are movie producers. They call “cut” and start over and over again until it’s to their liking. That’s not the real world where “stuff” happens! Be aware of what’s within your control to script, what is legitimate planning, and the (many) times when you’re setting yourself up for guaranteed failure! After all, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge when the gift of planning turns to the curse of scripting.
Here is another example: Hi George. I have a girl working for me who heard from her mom that her grandpa had another heart attack. I asked why she wasn’t with him at the hospital? She told me her mom was at grandpas going through his photo collection getting ready for the funeral!! I said to her, but he hasn’t passed away yet?!?! And she replied no, but that her mom is a very “organized” lady and was getting ready..in case…. Is that not a somewhat scary definition of a high gold??? Yikes! ( btw, it’s been weeks and her grandpa is still hanging on!!) JB


Your Color Should Probably Live In…

September 28th, 2015

Want to find a city where that likely totally fits your first Color? Here are three suggestions for Golds and Oranges: (We’ll cover Blues and Greens next month)

Golds: Zurich, Switzerland: Ah, nothing like a clean, well-ordered city where everyone gets along nicely and everything works as it should. Reserved but polite, the citizens of Switzerland don’t like to raise much of a fuss unless they have to. They get business done, then retire to their well-maintained homes with their close-knit families. No fuss, no muss, no big disagreements. Always neutral Switzerland is the ideal spot for getting-along Golds.

Shanghai, China: It’s known as the economic, commercial, and financial center of China – ideal for business-minded Golds. This is a city and Color that thrives on efficiency and progression in the workplace. It’s the big leagues of international business, putting hard working Golds right into the heart of opportunities.

Berlin, Germany: Golds value clear-cut, upstanding efficiencies and Germany offers an ideal cultural fit. This historic city has a huge no-nonsense focus on education, development, and intellect. The city and the Color has no hesitation when it comes to getting things done, and done efficiently and on-time. Patriotic to the core, but private in their personal lives, Golds will certainly enjoy the structured, independent values of Berlin!
Oranges: Queenstown, New Zealand: Called the “Adrenaline capital of the world” is pretty much all Oranges need to know. It’s like a giant playground to the sensory-oriented Oranges who thrive on hands-on activities and are drawn to extreme sports like heliskiing, skydiving, and hang gliding. They can usually be found dangling from cliffs with a Gopro strapped to their heads. Oranges are very independent by nature and adventurous in spirit…more or less the exact definition of a Kiwi.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: Oranges like it hot – in many senses of the phrase. Rio is alive and vibrant with music, culture, passion, and excitement. They want to be where the action is and the party never stops. Rio has unlimited opportunities for people-focused Colors to mingle, mix, network, and live it up. Plus, the mind-blowing backdrop of the city and the coming Olympics!

Los Angeles: Ah, to be where the people are…particularly the people hooking up and living it up. Oranges thrive on connections, which makes the celebrity filled city of Angels an ideal spot to be in the limelight and at the center of the latest goings-on. And the constantly changing nature of the film industry where it matters a lot who you know and whether you can get yourself noticed…probably not going to be a problem is it, Oranges? (Adapted from Heidi Priebe FB posting)


Blues Would Rather Be Happy Than Right!

September 28th, 2015

For any high Blue, being happy is almost always the easy choice. It’s less about being right, and more about getting along. Blues also know that there is no such thing as a win-lose. Just because someone thinks they’ve won in an argument or got their way with a Blue – that doesn’t mean they’ve “won.” They’ve actually lost. Lost a little trust, a small part of the relationship has been eroded, and thing just won’t be the same. So Blues know it’s always a win-win or lose-lose.

In the ideal world of Blues, we would all get along, care about each other, and support each others’ dreams and hopes. We would work in a positive environment where people come before paperwork and we do our small part to make a difference in the life of others.
Blues find it difficult to be their positive selves when they know others are hurting, feeling left out, or needing help, or a shoulder to cry on.

Their own priorities will usually take a back seat to helping others. Most of the time, that’s a win-win and a great self-esteem builder. Whether that’s helping someone, the extra coaching, the five minutes listening to someone vent, and hundreds of other small ways. At other times, however, it can come at their expense and turns into a lose-lose. Now if they just had a partner or boss that understood….

Are We Protecting Or Hurting Kids?

August 29th, 2015

High Orange NFL player James Harrison recently refused to let his two sons accept participation trophies from their school. His reasoning become a media story across North America: “While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do…these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes our best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy.” But:

• A number of school districts have decided to no longer fail kids, but rather call a non-passing grade “deferred success.”
• In parts of Britain, kindergarten teachers have been instructed to avoid the word “no” at all times.
• One major soccer association in Ontario (for kids under age 11) no longer keeps score for any games. Their logic is that the game is about skills, fair play, sportsmanship, and teamwork, and not making winners or losers.

Swerve magazine asked: By overprotecting our children, are we putting them at even greater risk? Is it really possible to build empathy and help when everyone is equal? Is not keeping score, or failing a test, a way to motivate and improve, or point to a reason to work harder and do better? Can the results of these policies not potentially create a false sense of reality that’ll be shattered really quickly in the real world of adults?

High Oranges thrive, learn, and grow through competition, games, and winning. They value anything where they have a chance to be the star, to perform, and to become the (recognized) best. They have no problem losing, because it makes them work harder and become more skilled with a single-minded focus to do better (win) next time.

For Gold kids and adults, it’s valuable when they can quantify things. Just participating without concrete measurements and yardsticks doesn’t allow for that and makes it very difficult to feel successful.

High Greens deal in facts and logic – as kids just as much as adults. They played poorly or didn’t study hard enough? That’s fine – now they have measurable and factual feedback to do better next time, and to learn from it.

For kids of all ages and Colors, do remember that the benefit of competition is less about win and lose, and way more about improvement, learning, and challenges.


90 Minute Appointments? Yikes…

August 29th, 2015

During the break at a recent seminar, a Green financial adviser commented that now she understood why she sets up her appointment times for an hour and a half: It’s about teaching her members and giving them a lot of in-depth knowledge.

But she looked very confused when I replied that I hope she didn’t mean that! Her kind of confused response was that that’s how long it takes to go through ‘everything.’ 14% of the population are Greens. They’d love the 90-minute appointments and all the investment information on the benefits of a European balanced mutual fund.

News flash: 86% won’t – sorry – no chance! Some people want to be taught – most just want their investments, mortgage, or loan done by someone credible, doing it correctly and professionally – and they really want to get out of there…sign here, press hard you’re making six copies, thanks for your business and have a great day…

I don’t know if she accepted my feedback, read the Colors of Sales & Customers books, or changed her approach. I’d bet she is, or should be, really successful already. But I can guarantee if she learns the ‘language’ of the other three Colors, her income would increase 25 to 50 percent….

What’s the Perfect City For Your Color?

August 29th, 2015

Question time: What city should your Color live in? Can you think of a city that would be a great match for your Color? For example, it seems a no brainer that Oranges should live in Vegas. 24-hour a day constant stimulation, a city that never sleeps, tons of careers on shift work to avoid the horror of early mornings, lots of tips and commission-based jobs to be able to work hard and play hard, a significant entrepreneurial culture, and all that entertainment and nightlife….

Click the comment and let me know your city for your Color! Next month, I’ll share my list of the best fits for all four Colors.