The Blue Christian Personality

May 1st, 2018

An excerpt from the Colors Tools for Christians book:

If you are old enough to remember the Beatles song: ‘All you need is love,’ or the John Lennon song: ‘Imagine,’ you are well on the way to understanding the life of a Blue. They certainly live the beautiful Bible verse above in thought, word and deeds. Life is lived to the glory of God through helping others and connecting with them in real and meaningful ways. Blues thrive on volunteering in areas where they are making a difference in the lives of others and in creating an inclusive and loving environment of peace and harmony.

Blues are typically unselfish and have a great drive to lend a hand and to contribute to make a small difference in the lives of others. It is something they do with great passion and enthusiasm, especially if the cause or project focuses on people-first areas where they are able to serve others and develop relationships. Blues like to be valued for their unique contribution to a group, instead of being compared to others.

“Each one should test his own actions.  Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.”  Galatians 6:4

Blues appreciate how blessed they are and always see the wonders and beauty of the world God has created. They see the good in every person and every situation because of their gifts of love, patience, caring, sharing and being an unwavering fighter for the underdog. This is not learned or something they think about, it is just part of their DNA that they draw strengths and build self-esteem in doing things with others, resulting in feeling included and involved. Every day, in almost every way, Blues really do practice God’s unconditional love for others.

Their drive to care for others and to feel cared about can often result in putting the needs and feelings of others ahead of their own wishes. This makes saying ‘no’ and setting boundaries two of the biggest challenges for Blues who are challenged in acknowledging their own needs and assuring they do take care of themselves. After all, Blues will always turn their spare time into time to spare for others.

Define Competitive

May 1st, 2018

Hi George: My husband calls me “very competitive” yet, as a high Gold – I don’t see myself as competitive… picky yes, but not competitive.  He says, my vehicle has to be tip top, my house, my yard… Even my team at work has to be the top team, and I work hard to keep them there. He continues to say that “everything I do, I do to be the best. I know what needs to be done and how to get the best out of people.”  K

Hey, K! Thanks for the note. Good question…Just like Oranges defined the word fun, the definition of competitive is very different for our four Colors (ok…three Colors, excluding Blues). We think of the typical definition of competitive in sports. My high Gold will certainly never want to lose a golf game. In your work case, it’ll apply to making bonus, making forecast, etc.

For Golds and Greens, the definition of competing generally starts in areas such as process improvement, or making things more efficient. It’ll be more of a focus on doing things correctly the first time, avoiding time wasters, etc. Even in the golf example, Golds and Greens compete with themselves to constantly improve.

Your Gold definition of competitive include managing your team and making them successful…other than the general Gold view that your own 110% isn’t really enough…Then leading people who believe 100% is all there is. That’s the dark side of Golds. (See the Colors at Work booklet). And one more thing: That’s more true than you (and many Gold leaders realize) when you wrote (and believe?) “I work hard to keep them (team) there instead of “us” and “we”!!

What’s A Great Career For a Blue/Orange?

May 1st, 2018

That was an e-mail from a client asking about her son. However, the question is way too general. Every person of every Color can be wildly successful in any careers. Colors has nothing to do with talents – they come in all four Colors!

The question is whether a person will be truly happy and content in their career, or always wonder (or wish) if they shouldn’t be doing something different. Vast number of people work for a very long time in a career of their third or fourth Color. At that point, they often just choose (or need to) measure success in a different way than their first Color might. (if that makes sense…)

What I do know, for a Blue/Orange to last, and to really do something that’s their passion, it has to involve people contact.  A Blue or an Orange might enjoy a career without that lifeline of people, teams, clients, and social interactions for a while, but the “double people Colors combination” of Blue/Orange or Orange/Blue almost makes a people-first career imperative over the long haul.

A good rule of thumb would be work that’s roughly a third of their day (or less) focused on paperwork, computer stuff, working alone, or being chained to a desk. But there are vast numbers of different careers which would be awesome for any Blue OR Orange, or that combination.

The question for this person, or anyone else, is what’s your real passion? What have you always dreamed of doing? If you could do anything, what would it be? For those, and to have a career in those areas, you don’t need my feedback – you just need to get moving and out of your comfort zone. After all, “if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” (Marc Anthony) That should be the goal for every person of any Color!

ROSES: A Gold Appreciation Story

March 14th, 2018

This author unknown story is rather lengthy, but absolutely worth reading. As a Gold, I still can’t read it without getting emotional. If you’re not Gold, it’ll help you understand them in a powerful way…

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.

The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said “be my valentine,” like all the years before. Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, “I love you even more this year, than last year on this day. My love for you will always grow, with every passing year.” She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband’s favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate, with loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, the doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone to call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him if he would explain, why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? “I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,” the owner said, “I knew you’d call, and you would want to know. The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance. Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance. There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, and he has paid, well in advance, you’ll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know. He wrote a special little card…he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he’s no longer here that’s the card that should be sent, to you the following year.”

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote…

“Hello my love, I know it’s been a year since I’ve been gone. I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. Or if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife. You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it’s only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years. When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, that we had together and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and I know I always will. But my love, you must go on, you have some living still. Please…try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you’ll find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, when your door’s not answered when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt. To take the roses to the place, where I’ve instructed him and place the roses where we are – together once again.”

 

Nature Vs. Nurture?

March 14th, 2018

Carl Jung (Swiss psychologist in the 1920s), very much the grandfather of personality typing, believed that you’re born with your personality type, and parents, situations, school, etc., have very little impact. It’s a question I get a few times a year, and last month in an email from a client. I had long thought that (at least our childhood and parents) do measurably impact it….

It was the reason, about 10 years ago, I had 6,000 attendees over a year plus, do a short five-minute feedback form. What Color is your partner (the chart in the relationship chapter), what’s your birth order, favorite TV shows, how much of your job fits your first Color, do you volunteer, etc.

I know it’s only 6,000 people, but there was absolutely no connection of Colors and birth order at all! That was good enough for me to believe Carl Jung….

We DO take on behaviors that honor our parents, but I don’t think it changes our personality type. The most common ones are Blues who aren’t big on hugging…when you ask, it turns out they often had two Gold and/or Green parents, so it just wasn’t part of what they ever experienced for 18 plus years.

The other one is an Orange occasionally piping up that they are THE most organized people. But it turns out that it’s usually in one or two specific things – mostly their bedroom and closet. That’s just a smart eight-year old Orange knowing their parent (the super high Gold one) is going to ride their butt every day for another decade to make their bed and clean their room. When they move out, they either drop that in a hurry (freedom!) or still honor that voice of their parent for life…

Big picture, I think (guess) that every kid emulates their parents in one way or another in thinking it’s somehow going to get them more love. I think that’s why lots of parents the first day or two after learning Colors think they can’t really figure out their kids first Color…

Having said that, if you read a book by Tom Leman called “Growing Up Firstborn,” it sure reads like a book entirely for Gold kids! There’s also one called “The Power of the Middle Child” (Catherine Salmon), and it very much describes Blue kids, in being the go-between, and mediators in the family, as well as throughout their lives.

If you agree, or disagree, either is just fine, because there isn’t a “right” answer. Personality types are about real people who are all unique. We’re not some kind of match equations that have a right or wrong answer!

The Messy Life?

March 14th, 2018

Ah…neat, tidy and organized are definitely in the eye of the beholder. Organized means totally different things to different Colors, from neat piles and everything put away for Golds, or “it’s organized if I can find it” for Orange.

A recent USA Today story featured the review of a number of books, and started with the line: “we Americans love nothing more than improving ourselves without exerting too much energy.” It went on to describe a few of these books as “easy on the reader to make the lazy you a better and happier you in the coming year.”

One of the books the USA Today story reviewed is: A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefit, which claims that messy closets, a cluttered office or last-minute scrambling actually makes for a better and healthier life and a better world. Co-author David Freedman argues that “neatness is about suppression. It’s about having fewer things to stimulate you. Mess is better. It stimulates creativity.”

He actually claims that this is what people have been waiting to hear. OK, which people? His logic: The vast majority are messy and consider this book a validation of what they’ve always thought.

The other books? Sleep Away The Pounds, Relax Into Wealth: How to Get More by Doing Less and: How to Cheat at Cleaning: Time-Slashing Techniques To Cut Corners.

But the best quote has to be from sociologist Micki MdGee: “I’m completely unsurprised by this. The self-help industry has topped out and now people want to hear that improvement is effort-less.”