What Restaurant Chain Fits Your Color?

April 4th, 2017

Oranges: Hard Rock Café: You see life as the chance to entertain and to be entertained. This restaurant has great eats, but it’s not all about the food. It’s more about the culture, the music, and history than anything else. The restaurant is out there, and wants to be noticed and remembered – just like you. That’s the reason for the collectible tees from cities and exotic locations around the world. You might as well show people that you’ve been around the world. One day, people will look at your on-stage charisma the way they look at Hard Rock’s nachos.

Golds: Peter’s:  If you don’t live in Alberta, you just wouldn’t understand and are missing out on the best burgers in Canada. Golds live by traditions and are creatures of habit. That means one favorite restaurant – two tops. But Peter’s is a drive-through, and it’ll usually be on their casual food to-stop-at list as well. The chance to mix three different milkshake flavors for 4,500 possible combinations lets Golds build their (limited) creativity – and it’s something they’ll plan well before getting there!

Their parents took them to Peter’s as kids, and school buses for field and ski trips detoured to make a stop there. How can it now come off their favorite list as an adult? Oh sure, the lineups are a huge Gold annoyance, but sometimes you have to endure them to stay loyal and with the known comfort food. It’s worth adding the extra five minutes delay to their to-do list.    More chains and Colors fit in the coming editions…Adapted from Sophia Borghese, Ohio University MBTI story

 

You Think That’s Funny?

April 4th, 2017

Every person (hopefully) of every Color has a sense of humor. For some, it’s kind of hidden, but for our four Colors, it’s definitely a different style of humor.

Blues are very good at adapting their humor to fit their surroundings, mood and the people they’re with. They will read what other find funny, and attempt to blend in (they’re just not the best at picking up on sarcasm at times). This is especially true for Blue/Orange. When they’re around people they’re comfortable with and trust their personal humor is more openly expressed. Blues don’t mind being the butt of a joke, as long as everyone is enjoying themselves. What doesn’t please Blues is any humor that’s dark, upsetting, or at the expense of others. Jokes that bring down other people are cruel and just wrong. Yet, they typically won’t say anything. They generally laugh along while thinking the joke isn’t funny at all and way over the line.

Oranges have a permanent sense of humor – at all times – about everything. It’s usually very playful and colorful. Yes, they can occasionally offend people with their humor, but most of the time they can get away with stuff other Colors would never dare. They have a way of teasing others that’s actually a show of affection. They can laugh at anything, and anyone, even in the darkest situations. Oranges have a way of making even the most stressful or dullest situations, meetings, or projects hilarious, fun, and funny. When they’re uncomfortable, or things are about to get emotional or deep and meaningful, Oranges can often crack a joke to lighten the mood or to change the subject.

Greens have a sense of humor that others often don’t share – it’s an acquired taste, and can take a little work to understand. They enjoy using sarcasm and wit. No, they won’t be the standup comedians that will talk until they think of something to say. But they have a way of seeing the humor (or absurdity) of something in ways that other Colors often miss. Their Green face, and deadpan sarcasm can be interpreted as being serious, when they’re actually being very playful and funny. When you get their sense of humor, they’re actually really fun to be around! Their humor can be some very clever word plays, or something funny on the absurdity of a situation or event. You may need to do some thinking before you catch up to their joke or pun.

Golds are often judged as being too serious to enjoy humor, but that’s absolutely not the case. Their often dry delivery can make others miss the humor. Any deadpan delivery of a joke can cause others to miss their joke completely, thinking they’re being serious. Golds, at times, aren’t afraid of being self-deprecating and can flip from downright silly to dry humor – it depends on their mood and the people they’re with. It’s true that Golds aren’t the best at remembering a specific joke, but they do have a folder of them, or an email file with some good one in them from years ago. Their humor is mostly an on-the-spot observation, or a take-off from someone else’s comment. If you need a joke right now – give them a few minutes to look one up…

Free Yourself With the Short, Powerful Word: No

April 4th, 2017

That was the headline from Cox News Service reviewing a book called: The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It – and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. Well, since the entire article, and likely the whole book, is geared towards high Blues, the article caught my attention.

Yes, standing up for ourselves, setting boundaries and saying no is worthwhile, but it’s so much easier said then done. When we talk about this subject during the Colors seminar, high Blues totally agree that they get run down, put themselves last and have a real challenge making everyone happy – which always, always comes at their expense. But their agreement comes from their Green logic. That is, their head agrees, but their heart has a really hard time implementing it.

Sure the book makes it sound easy. But the author doesn’t know the heart of high Blues. There was a good line in the article that’s worth sharing: “Recognize that guilt is a waste of time and emotional energy. People aren’t thinking about you as much as you worry about what they think.” Yes, maybe that’s true – but there’s a big missing dimension: You cannot tell the heart what to do.

Are We Protecting Or Hurting?

March 4th, 2017

Former high Orange NFL player James Harrison recently refused to let his two sons accept participation trophies from their school. “While I am very proud of my boys…these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned, and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes our best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut you up and keep you happy.” But:

A number of school districts have decided to no longer fail kids, but rather call a non-passing grade “deferred success.”

In parts of Britain, kindergarten teachers are instructed to avoid the word “no.”

As well, one major soccer association (for kids under age 11) no longer keeps scores. Their logic is that the game is about skills, fair play, and sportsmanship, and not making winners or losers.

Swerve magazine asked: By overprotecting our children, are we putting them at even greater risk? Is it really possible to build empathy and help when everyone is equal? Is not keeping score, or failing a test, a way to motivate and improve, or point to a reason to work harder and do better? Can the results of these policies not potentially create a false sense of reality that’ll be shattered really quickly in the real world of adults?

Oranges thrive and grow through competition, games, and winning. They value anything where they have a chance to be the star, to perform, and to become the (recognized) best. They have no problem losing, because it makes them work harder and become more skilled to do better (win) next time.

For Gold kids, it’s valuable when they can quantify things. Just participating without concrete measurements and yardsticks doesn’t allow for that, and makes it very difficult to feel successful. Greens deal in facts and logic – as kids just as much as adults. They played poorly or didn’t study hard enough? That’s fine – now they have measurable and factual feedback to do better next time, and to learn from it.

For kids of all ages and Colors, do remember that the benefit of competition is less about the win and loss, and way more about improvement, learning, and challenges.

 

Tips for Dealing with Your High Green Boss

March 4th, 2017

When they are giving you feedback, they are NOT criticizing you, they are giving you information. In the same manner, when they ask you questions on an idea, they are not always picking holes in your argument or thought process, but rather that they want to learn, too. There is a big difference.

Don’t ask a bunch of feedback questions. Am I on the right track? What do you think? Do you agree? Remember that they tend to be people of few words, so give them time and information and stop acting insecure or looking for instant feedback. They’ll let you know what’s on their mind – just don’t keep asking.

Be satisfied with short and to-the-point answers and conversations. If you’ve done Colors, you know they are people of few words, well chosen and direct. Why do so many people seem to ignore that knowledge when they’re actually talking to a high Green?

High Greens do not like to repeat themselves and can get stressed or snappy by explaining things over and over, or being asked the same question a number of times. When you ask fresh, new, challenging or thought-provoking questions, they’ll tend to have all the time in the world for you – just don’t ask the same stuff again that you ought to have caught onto by now.

Operate on the assumption you’re doing a great job and don’t look for too much external validation. Assume you’re doing a good job until you hear differently. Don’t assume that you must not be doing the right thing or the high Green would praise you – you’re thinking totally backwards. It’s just not their style. If you weren’t – you WOULD hear about it.

Until then, stop looking for verbal affirmations and enjoy the fact that your high Green boss will give you a lot of freedom and independence. Your high Green boss is treating you the same way they want to be treated by their boss. And you should really read the Colors at Work book for chapters on how to deal with any Color boss and how to email people of different Colors!!

Deal Breakers in Relationships

March 4th, 2017

In relationships, opposites attract. About two-thirds of relationships are with an opposite Color. If that’s you, there are some deal breakers that you should avoid. If you’re already in one of those relationships, do remember some of these and back off in order to grow your relationship. Plus, you can change just a few words here, and this also applies to your coworkers, or managing others! It’s the same thing at work where people join companies, but quit their manager! Gee…I wonder why Colors is so important…

With Orange: Do not take away their freedom. They have big visions, dreams and ideas and won’t discard them for anyone. They’re very flexible and accommodating – there’s more than one way to get things done, but don’t hold them back or tell them it can’t be done. Gold and Green actually show that they care by pointing out the boundaries, flaws, or why something won’t work. But that’s not what Oranges are hearing!

Restricting their socializing and friends: People, networking, and friends come first with Oranges. That won’t change much to accommodate their partner. They have a large group of friends and socializing, networking, or whatever, will take up a lot of their evenings. A partner who wants to cut this group down to manageable size or limit their evenings out won’t last very long. Oranges will make a quick choice…and it’s an easy choice.

With Green: Don’t be closed-minded. They’ve very open minded and nothings gets them to back off quicker than someone stuck in tunnel vision who won’t consider any alternate point of view. They need a partner who can keep up with their continuously shifting range of thoughts, ideas and emotions. In the words of Winona Ryder: “I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve thought about it!”

Unable to trust their partner: Greens are very careful in investing their emotions – or even letting someone “in.” They’re not looking for the partner of the month, but someone they can trust to be in it for the long term. (Their core need for credibility). If they sense that the person isn’t invested, they won’t continue to waste their time and energy.

With Blue: Make them feel needed. Blues live to help others. It’s a big self-esteem builder for them that makes them thrive and grow in a relationship. If they don’t feel someone is letting them in or sharing their inner feelings, it can feel like they are without a purpose and can quickly choke off the romance in a relationship.

Insensitivity: Blues need to feel comfortable in a relationship. They need to be able to open up and share their deep feelings. That takes a partner who will listen unconditionally and without wanting to fix. Arrogance, negativity, or judgmental partners will quickly be tuned out.

With Gold: Inconsistencies drive Golds crazy. They look for a partner who is loyal and committed in any…in every…situation. Whether it’s convenient or not, whether it take the extra time or effort, consistency is critical to Golds. Anyone who won’t abide by this deal breaker will be hard to trust…and that’s another critical value to a Gold in a long-term relationship.

Disregarding their strong value system: Golds have a core set of values that aren’t negotiable, or subject to change. Their partner has to know the five or six core values that a Gold will not negotiate about or abandon – period. Some issue (probably more than that…) are black and white – right and wrong, and at the core of what makes a Gold.