In relationships, opposites attract. About two-thirds of relationships are with an opposite Color. If that’s you, there are some deal breakers that you should avoid. If you’re already in one of those relationships, do remember some of these and back off in order to grow your relationship. Plus, you can change just a few words here, and this also applies to your coworkers, or managing others! It’s the same thing at work where people join companies, but quit their manager! Gee…I wonder why Colors is so important…
With Orange: Do not take away their freedom. They have big visions, dreams and ideas and won’t discard them for anyone. They’re very flexible and accommodating – there’s more than one way to get things done, but don’t hold them back or tell them it can’t be done. Gold and Green actually show that they care by pointing out the boundaries, flaws, or why something won’t work. But that’s not what Oranges are hearing!
Restricting their socializing and friends: People, networking, and friends come first with Oranges. That won’t change much to accommodate their partner. They have a large group of friends and socializing, networking, or whatever, will take up a lot of their evenings. A partner who wants to cut this group down to manageable size or limit their evenings out won’t last very long. Oranges will make a quick choice…and it’s an easy choice.
With Green: Don’t be closed-minded. They’ve very open minded and nothings gets them to back off quicker than someone stuck in tunnel vision who won’t consider any alternate point of view. They need a partner who can keep up with their continuously shifting range of thoughts, ideas and emotions. In the words of Winona Ryder: “I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve thought about it!”
Unable to trust their partner: Greens are very careful in investing their emotions – or even letting someone “in.” They’re not looking for the partner of the month, but someone they can trust to be in it for the long term. (Their core need for credibility). If they sense that the person isn’t invested, they won’t continue to waste their time and energy.
With Blue: Make them feel needed. Blues live to help others. It’s a big self-esteem builder for them that makes them thrive and grow in a relationship. If they don’t feel someone is letting them in or sharing their inner feelings, it can feel like they are without a purpose and can quickly choke off the romance in a relationship.
Insensitivity: Blues need to feel comfortable in a relationship. They need to be able to open up and share their deep feelings. That takes a partner who will listen unconditionally and without wanting to fix. Arrogance, negativity, or judgmental partners will quickly be tuned out.
With Gold: Inconsistencies drive Golds crazy. They look for a partner who is loyal and committed in any…in every…situation. Whether it’s convenient or not, whether it take the extra time or effort, consistency is critical to Golds. Anyone who won’t abide by this deal breaker will be hard to trust…and that’s another critical value to a Gold in a long-term relationship.
Disregarding their strong value system: Golds have a core set of values that aren’t negotiable, or subject to change. Their partner has to know the five or six core values that a Gold will not negotiate about or abandon – period. Some issue (probably more than that…) are black and white – right and wrong, and at the core of what makes a Gold.