How Each Color Can Show Affection

February 2nd, 2017

In broad terms, Blues show their affection by attempting to fully understanding someone on a deeper level. They’re great listeners and observe people in an effort to find what makes them happy. They value showing affection though small gifts, cooking, or other small ways. Blues will always give their undivided attention and create an open line of communication, free of judgment. They also value sharing part of themselves with people they care about that not everyone gets to see. In the eyes of Blues, sharing themselves with someone equates to showing how much they care.

Blue/Golds tend to also show their affection by tending to someone’s needs. They’ll try to make sure that the other person is happy and that their stress is minimized. That might be through cooking or cleaning for them, or other ways that take on someone’s worries and make them their own. Putting the needs of someone else ahead of their own, is a frequent way to show that they truly care.

Blue/Greens want to assure the other person feels listened to and understood. They value quality time without distractions. Often they may not openly verbalize it, but show it in creating a space for someone in their life. While they don’t generally allow many people into their inner circle, when they do, it’s a significant way of showing they care. This rare Color combination can frequently also be better at expressing their own feelings in writing, instead of verbally.

Blue/Oranges often express their affection in playful and physical ways. They tend to be more open in showing the affection to most people which can make it challenging to know when they care deeply about someone. They can try very hard to give someone their full attention, which can be a challenge for their typical multi-tasking behaviors. They tend to miss people a great deal when they’re not around, and expressing that fact is a significant way of showing they truly care. You’ll also notice that they can become very excited when they are talking about those they do care about.

Greens show affection by focusing on understanding their loved ones fully. They often attempt to find the ways to accomplish your goals. Helping you to grow and better yourself is a powerful way for Greens to show their affection. If they don’t care, they wouldn’t waste their time and energy in helping someone. Greens can invest a lot in helping someone become a stronger person and find logical ways to help them.

Green/Golds will attempt to discover how to help the people they care about. They will look for logical solutions and efficient ways to solve them. They can take care of the practical needs of others and make sure the people they care about have an organized like and a game plan. When the really care, they’ll become someone’s best advocate and defend them no matter what. While they may push the person to achieve their best, they will also hold them accountable, and stand up against others wanting to hurt the people they care about.

Green/Oranges can show they care in a gentle teasing way. Their playful teasing is a big sign that they care. They’ll assure that it doesn’t go too far, because the person does matter to them. While they aren’t likely to be openly affectionate, they do express how they feel to the people who are close to them. As long as it doesn’t become public knowledge, they can verbalize their feelings in private. Others will get the benefit of their practical and logical problem solving approach with a sense of humor and urgency. They’ll also give the people they care fo a lot of space to be themselves and accept them for who they really are.

Golds tend to show their affection by assuring others are organized and have a plan. They’ll help get their lives on a solid track and help with specific steps to solve their problems. Their primary way of showing how much they care is to assure the practical needs of their loved ones are taken care of. They aren’t very emotionally expressive people, but will spend a lot of time and energy knowing what their loves ones like and value. They are incredibly loyal and protect the people they care about at all cost.

Golds tend to be very private people. When they make time for someone, or share personal information by ‘letting someone in,’ they express (non-verbally) two of the most significant ways of showing their affection.

Gold/Oranges often show affection by assuring that the practical needs of those they care about are met. While they can be a little impatient, they value providing a safe environment and will be willing to show more affection, often in physical ways. While they’re also not very verbally emotional, they are not adverse to hugs and other warm behaviors. Because they tend to be more outgoing, they will always include the people they care about in their social circle as a strong expression of their affection.

Gold/Blues frequently use physical touch as a sign of affection. They also value gift giving as a way to express their affection. They’ll spend the time to discover what others like and value and take the time and money to find them as gifts. Their alone time with someone is reserved for the most special people, as is allowing them into their private world.

Oranges can often use gifts as a way of showing how much they care. Something real and tangible shows the other person their affection. They enjoy having fun and are eternally positive, which can certainly become contagious. That means they’ll consistently get those they care about to look at the positives and will spend their time and energy motivating and encouraging those they care about. When they care about someone, they will also be their best cheerleader, and on-the-spot problem solver. For Oranges, it’s go big or go home, and they’ll often go over the top to express their affection.

Orange/Greens also show their affection in playful and direct ways. But they also want the person to do better and to be better. While they may have tons of friends, only people they really care about will get to be with them during their (infrequent) time to recharge. Sure, they have a ton of friends, but maybe two or three people know the real Orange person. Helping those they care about comes in practical hands-on, right now ways with a sense of urgency and great humor. But it also comes in a second way through logical problem solving and finding the lasting solutions that will help those who they care about live richer and more fulfilled life.  Adapted from MBTI post by Personality Growth


Would You Rather Have $56 or $46,000?

February 2nd, 2017

On the surface that seems like a no-brainer question, right? You’ll take the $46,000. Well, you’d be amazed how many businesses would rather have the $56:

A few years ago, a California client needed a copy of my Colors book in a hurry. Her Orange son’s teacher was starting to talk ADD, and she needed her to understand Orange kids, instead of “medical condition.”  I contacted my distributor before 6:00 AM to get the book sent rush, and would pay the courier charge.

When their statement arrived, there was an additional $56 charge for their “internal rush” process. What? That wasn’t disclosed anywhere. While the account rep was really sympathetic, the response was “there’s nothing I can do.” Two e-mails to the sales manager with no response, and a letter to the general manager was also ignored. Nice!

For Golds, being” ripped off” is a big issue for a Color which is so loyal, and it’s something they won’t forgive or forget in business dealings. Not to mention that Golds are the largest group of clients for every business (36% of the population).

Of course, no Color likes to be taken advantage of. However, most Golds and Greens will also never do business with that company again. Since then, I have spent over $46,000 in book printing…with a different company. While Golds really don’t like change, the perception or reality of feeling ripped-off is a sure-fire way to get them to move.

Unfortunately, losing a ton of business is way more common than any business realizes. But then, no matter what your first Color, you can attest to that:

With Blues – not taking the five minutes to get to know them before jumping into business.

With Greens – bluffing, lying, or incorrect and inconsistent information.

With Oranges – not having a fast-forward way to accommodate them without a lot of hurdles or excessive paperwork.

Choose Your Color

February 2nd, 2017

Your primary Color isn’t about to change anytime soon…or ever. But your behaviors can change all the time, depending on your circumstances, stress level, meeting, when you’re with a friend, your child, partner, parent, or coworker. Note that the key word here is “can.”

Don’t let your primary (first) Color take away the freedom to be the other three. It’ll make you a more well-rounded person! You’re always free to choose the Color of your behaviors. Just don’t ever say: I’m (this Color) so you have to… or that means I can’t…need you to…or whatever excuse you may have for staying stuck in the comfort zone of your primary Color. Here are the most common ones for each Color:

I’m Blue so you should be nice to me. No, I have to criticize you for something that went wrong yesterday. YOU need to differentiate between me not liking this specific thing versus not liking you.

I’m Orange, so I was late. No, you multi-tasked too much and are rude in having five people waiting to start a meeting.

I’m Green so I’m always sarcastic. No, you don’t have to be. You need to be aware that it’s not funny to lots of other people, especially when it’s a put-down sarcastic comment.

I’m Gold so it has to be done this way. No, there are lots of ways to get from here to ‘done.’  Your way is your way, but it’s not the only way, nor the way others can and do get there successfully.

Care enough to grow your knowledge and use of Colors:

-What’s your biggest excuse in hiding inside your first Color? If you can’t think of it, ask some friends or coworkers to be honest with you.

-Find a way to have your team do the Colors Advanced seminar

-Read the Colors at Work section about the dark side of your primary Color

How Your Color Should Approach the New Year

January 2nd, 2017

Happy New Year! For your Color, there are definitely some things you should consider for this coming year:

Blues: Let go of the guilt of not being perfect, and the constant wondering if you’ve done enough. You have – you’ve done your best, and that’s perfect enough. And while you’re letting go: Forgive others (as well as yourself) AND forget. You don’t need more of an explanation than that, do you? Make this a year you’ll take better care of yourself, before you take care of everyone else. Choose to not make that seem selfish, or make you feel guilty. You love self-development, and this is the big one for you! That’ll help make it a year of inner peace, giving from a full (rather than empty) cup, and lessen the need for a lot of the comfort food when chocolate becomes your best friend…

Greens: Even the most introverted people do need to get out of the house or their office more often – make this the year. Make a little more time for the people in your life. Appreciate their gifts, and tell them that you value and appreciate them – don’t just think it – that doesn’t help. Spend some of your thinking time on what behaviors can have a negative impact on people and resolve to change them, and start with being more cognizant of your Green face.

Oranges: You live in a world of ideas and action. When you feel stagnant, stop a minute and think of all the things you DO have happening as they’d make other Colors dizzy. As you’re charging head first into the New Year with 50 ideas and all the changes you want to see, remember that others don’t function at your speed. It can all happen, but not at the speed of Orange. Then decide if having a little more patience (even just counting to 10) is worth it, in order to make it happen. Lastly, perhaps you can take a few days to wrap up some of the dozens of things you have on the go. It’ll give you the “room” to start new ideas and projects if you set a deadline for yourself to get x number of “last year things” that are semi-dead, half done, or almost done, out of your hair.

Golds: OK, take a deep breath and get into the moment more often. You’re constantly thinking about the next whatever and thus spend very little time in the “now.” Think back on everything, every day, that you DO accomplish, instead of the negativity of what still needs to be done. You’re extremely hard working, but be aware of some of the negative habits that impact your life around others. One would be to learn to not reply “yes, but…” to almost every new idea or change? Could you (that should read: would you, because you certainly can…) learn to love every new idea for at least a minute? And if that seems possible, could you also test-drive asking for help the odd time before you burn out or become stressed? YOU love to help others, why not remember that the other three Colors also love to help for their own Color reasons. News flash: It’s not a sign of weakness.

Cultivating a Respectful Work Environment

January 2nd, 2017

A senior manager in the Federal civil service was kind enough to give me an interesting report recently. It’s a review on how to cultivate a respectful work environment. It’s very well sourced and powerful information for any company and team. Here are some of the highlights:

Disrespectful behavior is “disturbingly common” in the workplace. While everyone is familiar with the issue of harassment, incivility and disrespectful behaviors are just as destructive. They’ve become more commonplace, and can undermine and erode the culture of a team as well. Part of the reason is that they may be much more frequent, taken less serious, perceived as ‘normal,’ or thought of as acceptable conduct. Or is that just being hyper-sensitive? That’s for you to decide.

What’s included in that definition? Demeaning remarks, taking credit for someone else’s work or ideas, questioning someone’s judgment, taking behind people’s back, not turning off cell phone, or maybe doubting someone’s motives, judgments, or intention. Beyond that, the report suggested more negative behaviors of blaming versus taking responsibility, texting during meetings, hiding behind emails, forgetting the basics of please and thank you, or talking down to someone.

94% of people responded that they’ve been on the receiving end of many of these. What’s worse is that most don’t differentiate between the “offender” and their company. They see their employer as a willing accomplice. And that impacts performance when two-thirds admit it declines when exposed to these behaviors. 25% of people even admit they take it out on clients or customers! If these truly are, or should be, thought of as a problem, there’s a measurable impact when they don’t happen.

So-called “respectful teams” have 26% more energy, and are 30% more likely to be enthusiastic. 36% say their job satisfaction increases and 44% are more engaged and committed to their company.

The report specifically discusses the downside to emails and the risk for miscommunication. To translate that into Colors: The large group of Blues can more easily interpret a benign message in a negative light. Yup – nothing replaces face to face conversations. In broader terms, the motives of different Colors can be interpreted very differently. The downside is that sometimes perception can be reality.

Employees look to their leaders and managers to set the tone and to get their sense and direction of “how things work around here.” Or in the words of Russian novelist Leo Tostoy: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one things of changing himself.”

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Colors quiz answers: Blue – Gold – Green – Orange

Hubby May Not Be Green

January 2nd, 2017

Quite often during the Colors seminar, a Blue lady shares with me that her husband is a high Green. Makes sense, as opposites attract, but not so quick in this case. When I asked her a few casual conversational questions, the answers were kind of unusual:

So hubby must be happy that he gets this night alone at home? No, not really…

He doesn’t want any alone time? No, he wants to be around people all the time…

Do you phone him during the day and he wouldn’t rather you text him? No, he wants me to call him all the time…

But he doesn’t usually talk much, does he? No, he does…

At that point I gave up. Those are four broad Green values and hubby seems to fit none of them. Or does he? Your behaviors are not your Colors, but some broad strengths and preferences tend to be present in most people of each Color. Perhaps her husband’s non-Green behaviors apply only to his relationship with his Blue wife. That would be awesome, because every relationship at work or at home, with your kids, or managing staff, is “let’s make a deal” in honoring someone of another Color and their “language.”