Relationships Aren’t Always “Opposites Attract…”

April 3rd, 2016

Hey George: I took your Colors workshop and I’m a strong Orange – like flaming Orange – like so Orange! I am seeing someone who is also a strong Orange.  What are the chances of two strong Oranges being compatible?  A.S.

Hey A.S.  What are the odds? What are the odds both of you want to be happy more than right? What are the odds you’ll invest the time in each other? What are the odds you WANT to work through the hard parts, the trials, misunderstandings, etc., in order to come out the other side with a stronger relationship, versus just quitting on each other (on the relationship) and moving on? What are the odds you’ll slow down on the “win at all cost” in arguments, etc. with each other? What are the odds you both want to communicate in meaningful ways without any of the “whatever” comments. and moving on to something (or someone) else?

You tell me those odds, and I’ll bet on you two being an awesome couple! Remember that all combinations of Colors in relationships, just as much as on your team, work. All of them have some stressors and natural commonalities. The question isn’t whether it “works,” but whether you WANT to make it work, because love really is colorblind.

 

Lessons From Your First Dead-End Job

April 3rd, 2016

Maclean’s magazine recently ran a story on what we can learn from our first jobs. Even without knowing the values and stresses of our Colors, for many of us, it was the first chance to stretch our comfort zone, or discover what we definitely did not want to do for a living. Hopefully, after our first job, we ended up doing what we love to do, and something that suits our primary Color:

A likely high Green psychologist learned humility as a cabana boy growing up, and shares that it taught him how to smile all day (in between reading Dostoevsky on his breaks.)

One high blue investment manager discovered his love of working with people from his first job as a grocery store clerk. “That’s what really made me get up in the morning.” Until that point, he was sure he’d be pursuing an academic career.

Another story comes from a former Magna International V.P., who learned his lessons of multi-tasking, and working under stress, from the restaurant business. He believes those talents, first gained as wait staff, very much translates to the corporate world, and helps him looks for people with that experience. He shares in the article that this is not something learned in an MBA program, but really is a lifetime lesson.

Quality Time Depends on the Color

April 3rd, 2016

Last week, I took a “non-Colors knowing” Blue buddy for coffee. As we were working our way through a long lineup, I noticed two Greens having coffee and muffins together. Both had a book out and were reading. When my buddy asked what I was looking at, I pointed the couple out to him. But his reaction was quite different than mine. He felt that it was weird and sad that they’d spend their morning coffee together, yet totally alone, and absorbed in their books! True, from his Blue perspective, that’s not how you spend quality time with someone.

In an episode of Big Bang Theory, Penny suggested Amy give Sheldon the silent treatment to show how mad she. But, as Amy pointed out: ‘That won’t work: I did that once for seven hours. Sheldon said it was the most magical night he’d spent with me.’

But I saw the couple through a totally different set of glasses. I saw a very content and happy look on their faces and they really seemed to be enjoying themselves. They were spending time together AND learning something at the same time, without a lot of small talk. In fact, as we were leaving, I noticed the man was showing her something in his book…the joy of learning and sharing (teaching).

Is that the way my Blue buddy wanted to spend the coffee time with me? Of course not! It’d be our first and last coffee together. But for two high Greens, THAT was some really good quality time.

Hunger Games and Colors?

February 18th, 2016

In honor of the end of the Hunger Games series, I wonder what would happen if we put all the Colors into the hunger games together?

Since most fiction is written by Blues with the message that the person with the kindest heart wins, you’d think they would be the champions of Hunger Games. In the real Hunger Games, however, Blues are the first to get shot off their podium because they’re daydreaming during the countdown and don’t notice the games had actually started.

The Green/Orange climbs up a tree and reverse-engineers the entire Hunger Games. He picks apart the system, analyzes each of its parts, figures out how to dismantle the entire force field. Then gets high on some game arena ganja and forgets to follow through with his plan. That night he falls out of the tree he is sleeping in and lands on his own weapon, dying quickly and relatively painlessly.

The Blue/Oranges are the capitol’s sweethearts. Charming enough to receive bids and athletic enough to run away from potential predators they survive for a few days in the wild. On day three they get hopelessly bored in their solitude and decide to eat some wild mushrooms that they hope will have psychedelic side effects. They do. They wander into the lake, thinking it was made of ice cream, and subsequently drown.

Blue/Golds had formed an alliance with half the participants prior the start. Participants listened to inspirational speeches about the power of sharing their feelings and motivating each other to stick to their plan. One morning when the camp wakes up to find their leader missing, they dismantle their group, leaving only the beautiful memories of their Blue/Gold leader.

Oranges survive for a while at the hands of the Green/Orange they have formed an alliance with. After three weeks in the forest yelling excitedly about all the awesome kick-butt super-cool special effects of the arena, the Green/Orange finally needs some quit and shoots the Orange just to get them to shut up.

Some Gold/Blues form an alliance with Gold/Oranges who they trust to protect them. They hold up their end of the bargain by cooking meals and diligently maintaining the campsite. The Gold/Oranges keep up their part of the bargain by offing the Gold/Blues in their sleep.

Green/Golds escape quickly from the limelight and stew in an underground lair for several weeks. They develop a complex plot to take down each of their opponents, then get offed when a flash flood hits their lair. It is later revealed that the game makers created the flood intentionally because the Green/Golds reclusiveness made for bad TV. Adopted from MBTI post by Heidi Priebe

 

Take a Holiday – Please!

February 18th, 2016

A just released study claims 56% of you haven’t taken a vacation in the last 12 months! What? Wrong – wrong – wrong!

Small wonder (especially) Golds (35% of the population) and Blues (30% in Canada – 15% in the U.S.) stink at work-life balance! What would Nike say? JUST DO IT!

Oranges: work hard – play hard. But you do have to do the latter, too! At least you know how, even if you haven’t done it for a while.

Blues: Yes, people and your team need you. Always have – always will. But not all day, every day, all year. Besides, going away takes away the need to say “no” to people and set boundaries. The best way to take care of yourself is to go away and take care of yourself!

Greens: An hour of Green alone time a day doesn’t count. You can take your alone-time, learning time, and thinking time with you. Not just home, but on a real vacation. You’re project driven, then can feel that let down when there isn’t anything worth your brainpower to work on. Don’t get to that stage – take a holiday time out, a book or five, and veg for a while.

Golds: Your to do list will never be done. Like that’s a surprise in your life? Put “vacation” on your to-do list, and then make it happen. Don’t worry (OK, that’s a stupid thing to say…) your work to-do list will still be there when you get back. Yes, the two worst days are the day before holidays when you need to work 17 hours to get everything done – and the day you get back when everything is piled up that you refused to let others do while you’re gone. Don’t be cheap…spend the money and invest the time to have some fun (it’s allowed…it’s a rule!).

Are Time Lies OK?

February 18th, 2016

In one of the Game of Throne recap shows, two hosts admitted they had lied to their co-host Peter Sagal about the time of their recording session. They told Sagal it was starting at 8:30 when the real time was scheduled for 8:45. He wasn’t happy about the lie, but did admit they had a point, and a reason for doing it. He was sorry about his chronic lateness but just didn’t want to be caught…or called out.

Do you (or another Gold) do that to “help” the clock-challenged people in your life? How much earlier do you tell a late person to be on time for? Do you schedule a departure time or dinner start at 5:00 when it’s really 5:30 to help clock challenged people? Is it lying, or more like helping others with time management issues, fudging, fibbing, or whatever?

The chronically late do know, or figure out, that you’ve built in an extra 30 minutes. You do realize that, right? They can adjust accordingly. But it still works to a large degree. Do the always-late people not lie to themselves, too? Check their watch: It’s often ahead by five minutes. In their vehicles, it can upwards of half an hour!

The time lie is a wonderful deception. It might not be right, but it sure is morally defensible, for their own good, and most Golds do it and think it’s the right thing to do…for someone’s own good, if not for their stress and anxiety level.