The Orange-Gold Relationship

May 9th, 2017

Due to their large percentages of the population, Orange-Gold relationships are quite common. After all, opposites attract. In general, Golds have a lot of Orange envy, but can go from wanting to be more like them to judging them quite harshly. It’s kind of a love-hate relationship with themselves in their need to stay more responsible, organized, on-time, and reliable. On one hand, it can make them feel a little ‘square’ at times, while it can also make them feel a little better than everyone else.

The most common time for an Orange to start dating a Gold is likely when the Orange has come crashing out of a wild and crazy relationship with another Orange. That’s the time when they’re sick and tired of the game, and the games, and find the honorable, reliable, and straight-forward Gold person very attractive. When first dating, to Oranges it’s about flirtation. It’s about who’s winning or losing. It’s using their charm to get the other person to fall hard, with no guarantees of reciprocation. Who says, “I love you first,” matters a lot since the most commitment phobic of all Colors often feel a loss of power when they love.

With an Orange in their relationship, Golds wish they could just let loose without always feeling the burden of having to be the ‘good one,’ the planner, or the rule-enforcer without those feelings of guilt or Orange envy. Their partner loves to instigate and push Golds by taking them to the wild side. They love tempting Golds to let loose and give up some of their control. It’s a great feeling (and a win) when an Orange can take someone off the straight and narrow and set them free from all those rules and inhibitions.

When the Gold partner goes along, and wakes up the next day without feeling guilty, or retreating back into their comfort zone, they can awaken to a new reality. Wow, they had fun, let loose, and it didn’t wreck their lives. None of the fun or crazy impromptu adventures did them in. Letting go was relaxing and enjoyable and didn’t do them in. AND it was fun! Who knew? And every couple should really do the work section of “what each Color needs from each other” in the Colors of Relationship book!

 

What Restaurant Chain Fits Your Color? Part II

May 9th, 2017

Blues: Olive Garden: You’re focused on creating things that please other people’s hearts since you’re so in touch with your senses. You love the arts, or other creative fields. At Olive Garden, even the names of the menu items are very aesthetically pleasing, the plates are a work of art, and the meals taste like an artist created them. Who else would think of an idea quite as beautiful as the Piadina?

Greens: Starbucks

Life is not about being social or conformity. It’s about exploring ideas of the mind, and in order to do that, you must spend some time on your own. Starbucks (if you forget the crowd of fashionistas waiting in line for their double caramel whatever) is all about having a place to be on your own so you can write, solve the Sudoku puzzle, and get some work done. While the other people coming in can be draining, it’s offset by the coffee energy and the constant people watching while having time to think.    Adapted from Sophia Borghese, Ohio University MBTI story

Selling From the Heart?

May 9th, 2017

Last month I received a call from someone who wants to work with me to add Colors to his company’s sales training. He’s Orange/Blue, and knows how huge the tools of Colors are in dealing with clients, getting the business, retaining the account, etc.

He markets his sales training as: Selling from the heart. I didn’t know if I had the heart to tell him that isn’t a good phrase.

With a soft voice on the phone, a couple of gentle “if you have time, could I call you” type phrases in his emails, that was pretty obvious in the first email, and then the first minute on the phone. But my Gold finally had to say something. If nothing else, Golds and Greens know that caring about someone is telling them the truth, and not what they want to hear in order to protect their feelings…

I asked him if he was purposely starting each day missing out on getting business from 70% of potential clients? When you use the word “heart” as an opening line in explaining your business, you have to remember that half the world is Gold or Green. That starter is a non-starter with them, more times than not. Oranges are also not going to be that enthused about emotional-type selling. Sure, there are vast numbers of Orange/Blue, but, unlike this gentleman, they aren’t likely to show it or act it in their sales business.

He does have a great “in” with 30% of the Blue population in Canada (13% in the U.S.) and he’s on the right track in how and what he teaches. But the opening line shouldn’t limit his business – at least in my Colors opinion. My instant feedback was to change it to: Relationship selling. It wouldn’t be false advertising, the focus would still be on the people-part, but it would seem to be less “scary” to every other Color. Greens look for credibility. That will easily turn into a relationship if someone brings it. Gold value relationships with all kinds of businesses and people: Just tuck your shirt in, be on time, have your crap together, and stay organized. And Oranges are the relationship kings and queens in a permanent networking world with 300+ friends on Facebook!

What Restaurant Chain Fits Your Color?

April 4th, 2017

Oranges: Hard Rock Café: You see life as the chance to entertain and to be entertained. This restaurant has great eats, but it’s not all about the food. It’s more about the culture, the music, and history than anything else. The restaurant is out there, and wants to be noticed and remembered – just like you. That’s the reason for the collectible tees from cities and exotic locations around the world. You might as well show people that you’ve been around the world. One day, people will look at your on-stage charisma the way they look at Hard Rock’s nachos.

Golds: Peter’s:  If you don’t live in Alberta, you just wouldn’t understand and are missing out on the best burgers in Canada. Golds live by traditions and are creatures of habit. That means one favorite restaurant – two tops. But Peter’s is a drive-through, and it’ll usually be on their casual food to-stop-at list as well. The chance to mix three different milkshake flavors for 4,500 possible combinations lets Golds build their (limited) creativity – and it’s something they’ll plan well before getting there!

Their parents took them to Peter’s as kids, and school buses for field and ski trips detoured to make a stop there. How can it now come off their favorite list as an adult? Oh sure, the lineups are a huge Gold annoyance, but sometimes you have to endure them to stay loyal and with the known comfort food. It’s worth adding the extra five minutes delay to their to-do list.    More chains and Colors fit in the coming editions…Adapted from Sophia Borghese, Ohio University MBTI story

 

You Think That’s Funny?

April 4th, 2017

Every person (hopefully) of every Color has a sense of humor. For some, it’s kind of hidden, but for our four Colors, it’s definitely a different style of humor.

Blues are very good at adapting their humor to fit their surroundings, mood and the people they’re with. They will read what other find funny, and attempt to blend in (they’re just not the best at picking up on sarcasm at times). This is especially true for Blue/Orange. When they’re around people they’re comfortable with and trust their personal humor is more openly expressed. Blues don’t mind being the butt of a joke, as long as everyone is enjoying themselves. What doesn’t please Blues is any humor that’s dark, upsetting, or at the expense of others. Jokes that bring down other people are cruel and just wrong. Yet, they typically won’t say anything. They generally laugh along while thinking the joke isn’t funny at all and way over the line.

Oranges have a permanent sense of humor – at all times – about everything. It’s usually very playful and colorful. Yes, they can occasionally offend people with their humor, but most of the time they can get away with stuff other Colors would never dare. They have a way of teasing others that’s actually a show of affection. They can laugh at anything, and anyone, even in the darkest situations. Oranges have a way of making even the most stressful or dullest situations, meetings, or projects hilarious, fun, and funny. When they’re uncomfortable, or things are about to get emotional or deep and meaningful, Oranges can often crack a joke to lighten the mood or to change the subject.

Greens have a sense of humor that others often don’t share – it’s an acquired taste, and can take a little work to understand. They enjoy using sarcasm and wit. No, they won’t be the standup comedians that will talk until they think of something to say. But they have a way of seeing the humor (or absurdity) of something in ways that other Colors often miss. Their Green face, and deadpan sarcasm can be interpreted as being serious, when they’re actually being very playful and funny. When you get their sense of humor, they’re actually really fun to be around! Their humor can be some very clever word plays, or something funny on the absurdity of a situation or event. You may need to do some thinking before you catch up to their joke or pun.

Golds are often judged as being too serious to enjoy humor, but that’s absolutely not the case. Their often dry delivery can make others miss the humor. Any deadpan delivery of a joke can cause others to miss their joke completely, thinking they’re being serious. Golds, at times, aren’t afraid of being self-deprecating and can flip from downright silly to dry humor – it depends on their mood and the people they’re with. It’s true that Golds aren’t the best at remembering a specific joke, but they do have a folder of them, or an email file with some good one in them from years ago. Their humor is mostly an on-the-spot observation, or a take-off from someone else’s comment. If you need a joke right now – give them a few minutes to look one up…

Free Yourself With the Short, Powerful Word: No

April 4th, 2017

That was the headline from Cox News Service reviewing a book called: The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It – and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. Well, since the entire article, and likely the whole book, is geared towards high Blues, the article caught my attention.

Yes, standing up for ourselves, setting boundaries and saying no is worthwhile, but it’s so much easier said then done. When we talk about this subject during the Colors seminar, high Blues totally agree that they get run down, put themselves last and have a real challenge making everyone happy – which always, always comes at their expense. But their agreement comes from their Green logic. That is, their head agrees, but their heart has a really hard time implementing it.

Sure the book makes it sound easy. But the author doesn’t know the heart of high Blues. There was a good line in the article that’s worth sharing: “Recognize that guilt is a waste of time and emotional energy. People aren’t thinking about you as much as you worry about what they think.” Yes, maybe that’s true – but there’s a big missing dimension: You cannot tell the heart what to do.