After a recent seminar, a Gold lady wanted to ask me why she felt like such a failure: “Sometimes I get so depressed with all the things I haven’t accomplished yet”. What? When she broke it down, her Gold stress was all based on a to-do list she first set for herself when she came to Canada a decade ago: Do this in five years, do this by year seven, get this done, then have this accomplished, and so on.
The scripting she did in the first few months is still depressing her to this day! It’s not just her, it’s almost every Gold scripting decades into the future for their kids, their careers, the money they’ve saved (or not) for retirement, getting their professional designation, upgrading, promotion, and a host of other issues.
The typical Gold black or white mindset, and fixed to do list, can make Golds feel like a failure and become depressing at times. It’s not likely they’ll share that with others, though. Golds tend to be very private, they believe it will probably make them sound like losers, others likely wouldn’t understand, and it’s not like they could do anything about it. So why verbalize it, if there’s nothing to be accomplished by it.
While it’s much easier said than done, it’s really important to stay in the moment. It takes some work, but you need to stop scripting so much so far ahead, in such vivid detail. Yes, you want to plan, but plan things that are within your control! That doesn’t include a lifetime roadmap for your kids and the likes!
The only people who can “make” a script come true are movie producers. They call “cut” and start over and over again until it’s to their liking. That’s not the real world where “stuff” happens! Be aware of what’s within your control to script, what is legitimate planning, and the (many) times when you’re setting yourself up for guaranteed failure! After all, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge when the gift of planning turns to the curse of scripting.
Here is another example: Hi George. I have a girl working for me who heard from her mom that her grandpa had another heart attack. I asked why she wasn’t with him at the hospital? She told me her mom was at grandpas going through his photo collection getting ready for the funeral!! I said to her, but he hasn’t passed away yet?!?! And she replied no, but that her mom is a very “organized” lady and was getting ready..in case…. Is that not a somewhat scary definition of a high gold??? Yikes! ( btw, it’s been weeks and her grandpa is still hanging on!!) JB